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Winter Solstice 2023

Winter Solstice 2023

In the mid-90s my friend D started our Solstice traditions. We would all gather at her 200 acre farm in eastern Ontario (lovingly nicknamed The Pharm) and celebrate the turning of the year from light to dark, dark to light.

The Summer Solstice began with what she had called The Freak Family picnic. She had intended to gather people she had befriended from various usenet groups to coming out and camping. The beginnings of the FFP were wildly chaotic and many people came from all over the world (and in pre-9/11, some people even flew their own planes in). It was the event of the summer for years and anyone could come and camp out for the Solstice.

Winter Solstice you could only attend if you had already come to the picnic and had become friends with D and the others. Because Canadian winters could be bitterly cold, there was limited space in the house for people to warm up so you had to get along. It was no time to make new friends. Those gatherings were more intimate and quiet, with most people spending time going back-and-forth from the giant bonfire outside to shaking off the chill inside. We stayed up all night, watched the sun come up on the ridge and it was very much like pushing the reset button on your life.

The Solstice celebrations worked because it gave us a way to celebrate but removing a lot of the religious aspects. Since our friend group is a multi-faith group, it only seemed right to create something that we could all celebrate together. We chose our own traditions and rituals around what people have celebrated since, well, since there were people: the movement of the sun and moon across the sky.

Of course, life moves on and D has moved away from The Pharm (the last celebration being summer 2009) and it has since (sadly) been sold off. D has lived in various places around Europe and North America in the past 12 years and is now settled in upstate New York. There was a lapse of in-person Winter Solstice celebrations for awhile but we still managed to do a lot of online video meetings. Then, in 2017 a rare confluence of factors found that many of us could make it to a Winter Solstice, and so we hosted one that year. 2018 and 2019 were more subdued but many Americans came and local folks joined and then, of course, 2020 happened…


The last Winter Solstice on the Pharm, 2009

This year I was determined to host one because I felt that since the Summer Solstice we had a rough go. Between a broken foot, two surgeries and the destroyed condo, I needed to welcome the light back into my life. What better way to do that than good food & drink, great friends and a roaring fire? I wasn’t sure that anyone could make it but I put it out there anyway, and figured at the very least I would celebrate.

Shockingly, people came to town from Pittsburg and Toronto and stayed the night, friends I hadn’t seen in a very long time decided to stop in and we ended up having three generations of people join us – all descended from the original crew of Freak Family Picnic people. It was the exact right amount of new and old people and while some people did crafts, many of us just talked and caught up on many years of post-pandemic information. There was food, laughter and light, just the way it is supposed to be.


My baby playing with the baby of a woman who I played with when she was a baby

I don’t know what the next six months holds for our family but it did feel good to shake off the stress of the last six months with a celebration of light. Like many people, we are heading into Christmas and all the stress it can bring but I feel more grounded and relaxed now that Winter Solstice has rejuvenated me. I wish love and light to your families no matter where they are in the world, no matter what you celebrate. I hope the final days of 2023 see you closing out the year with reflection and with calm before the world kicks back into gear in January.

For those of you interested, we did a Celtic Omen Days craft this year where we made bookmarks to represent the upcoming year. There is still time to do it as the days technically start on December 26th.

2023 holiday preparations and my birthday

2023 holiday preparations and my birthday

Yesterday was my birthday. So because the Wordle is my love language, I told myself that the Wordle of the day would guide my birthday:

So Mr. Tucker made me breakfast that featured bacon!

Last week was a whirlwind of activities with friends and I am constantly grateful for the amazing people I have in my life. I forgot to post tree decorating pics, which happened earlier in the month. Last year one of The Americans* put together all of the pie pieces from the various thrifted Trivial Pursuit games she has and sent all of us our colours to be used in ornaments! They remain – to this day – some of my favourite ornaments.



Also, our friends The Cohens invited us over to celebrate Hannukah with them, which meant a lot of delicious latkes and donuts that they made for the occasion. We also got to hang out with their amazing babies, which is also a pleasure. The Cohens have such a lovely, close-knit family that it is such a joy to be around them all. I am grateful for their continued friendship – especially since they also live in the neighbourhood!

It’s funny because my friend’s daughter** married into the Cohen family and we have always stayed relatively close/in touch. It’s strange and beautiful that my babies are now holding/babysitting her babies when I used to hold/babysit her when she was a baby. The circle of life, Simba.



My birthday weekend was pretty great, all told.

Mr. Tucker and I chatted on Thursday evening about how things were looking financially. That came on the heels of him trying to install the microwave above the stove in the condo with a friend of ours…and it not working out. So now we have to find someone who will install it for us. SIGH. Finding someone to do the complete condo renovation was hard enough as it was because it was such a small job, which is why Mr. Tucker just DIY’d it. So now we’ve tripped at the home stretch.

But instead of getting down about it all, we’ve just decided to roll with it, assume he will have to work longer than anticipated, and then we promptly decided to free up some money in our budget for more fun things with the kids this holiday season.

While I am not a person who enjoys receiving gifts, I do enjoy experiences a LOT. So with the stress of this season upon us we made the decision to eat out not once, but TWICE this weekend. We had already planned to go out for all-you-can-eat sushi on Sunday for my birthday but we also went out to a mid-range steakhouse for dinner on Friday before hitting the mall. The Eldest was having a Christmas gift exchange sleepover at a friend’s place the next night so she wanted to grab some gifts.

We had an amazing time Friday night just having a leisurely dinner, hanging out as a family and chatting about our respective weeks. Was it expensive? I think I physically cringed when I saw the bill (don’t tell teenagers that they can order “anything they want.” Especially if your teenagers love lobster). Do I regret it? Not at all. It was a fantastic night, The Eldest got a steal on her friend gifts, we bought the kids Christmas pajamas as well and it was an easy night all around.

Saturday found The Eldest baking cupcakes for our yearly Cupcakes 4 Christmas donation for The Mission’s Christmas dinner. The Youngest spent the evening decorating them, and Mr. Tucker dropped them off bright and early Sunday morning.



While the kitchen was turned into a cupcake factory, I snuck out for an intro pottery class! I share a birthday with one of my closest friends and so three of us decided that we would celebrate together by trying our hands at the pottery wheel. It was…an adventure! While I loved the class – and it flew by so quickly – I feel like I would like more instruction and more skillbuilding that a short one-off class can give. I may look into longer classes next fall.



Our pottery will be fired and glazed and in a few weeks we can pick them up from the store. I am looking forward to it!

Sunday – on my birthday proper – I basically spent the day playing video games, as I requested. For dinner we had AYCE sushi at a (surprisingly great) restaurant near us. The food is good and they have robot servers, which is just charming. It’s less of a relaxing hangout type of dinner and more of a HOW MUCH CAN I GET INTO MY FACEHOLE type of event. I have long learned to not overdo it but my sushi-loving children went overboard and suffered greatly for it. I am still surprised at how much the kids can shove in there, it feels almost like it defies physics.

Back at home, Mr. Tucker and I had a few celebratory birthday drinks while the kids readied themselves for the school week ahead. We haven’t had a lot of time to just sit and BE so it was a lovely way to end a whirlwind of a week and a really great birthday.

Today I am in full planning mode for our Winter Solstice party on the 21st. Since people of all ages and from various places will be joining us after a long hiatus, I want to make it the best one yet. We haven’t had one since 2019 so I am very excited to host one again.

I hope you are all well and I wish for a non-hectic week for all!


*These ones are my Americans. Get your own.
**The daughter is the child of the woman who used to live on the 200 acre farm mentioned in the Wordle link.

Have yourself a merry little update…

Have yourself a merry little update…

We are fully in our #12DaysOfChristmasMovies era. So basically our evenings are dinner and a movie every night!

Today my friend K dropped off a fruitcake for Mr. Tucker – who loves the stuff! Her fruitcakes are particularly special because she candies all of her own fruit. He is very judicious with the fruitcake and savours every bite.

Tonight we are heading over to our friends The Cohens for dinner and Latkes and we are so stoked to see them! Life has been busy with all of our kids getting the flu and colds all through the fall so it’s been pretty impossible to make time to hangout. Since I had so much medical drama we haven’t really even seen them since the summer.

I am planning to host a Winter Solstice party on the 21st but I am trying not to get my hopes up that it will happen (but I bought food for it anyway, because I am an optimist!). It’s been canceled for the past 3 years for obvious (covid) and non-obvious (also covid) reasons. My hope is to have a wee party with crafts and fireside chats. I have also convinced The Eldest and Mr. Tucker to perhaps play some music for the event. Solstice is my favourite part of the holidays and it’s sad that I haven’t been able to celebrate it. I will send the invites out today.

Other than that, I am basically just playing The Witcher, reading books, hanging out with the family, and trying to plan for the new year. I have a few things I usually do and while I am not a resolution person, I am a planner by nature and have some plans for 2024.

To round this off, two links:

I cannot disagree with this list of books to buy for the beginner. In fact, I lost my OG copy of The Wealthy Barber and just bought a used one online. I still maintain that it is one of the BEST (albeit dated) books for a young adult to read if they are just starting out.

When the foundation is broken: Both Taylor and Britney had great success early on. They broke records and appeared destined for Great Things. Two decades later, Taylor is TIME’s Person of the Year, while Britney spends most of her time isolated inside her home and putting out weird Instagram posts. She is, by her own admission, struggling to put her life back together…I know we all know this, but it bears repeating: It is really, really hard to make a success of your life if your foundation is broken. It is hard to be “a source of light” when you are constantly fighting darkness, both inside and outside of yourself.