Post Morbus

I have been getting up & heading outside with magazines, books & my journal and then staying there all day. I help the kids with their school until sometimes 2pm but then I swim, I read, I relax.

I’ve not been on Facebook at all. I went on and tried to get through some of it but then I saw the comment about triple funding the police so I peaced out. I wanted to jump in so badly to respond to that idiocy but honestly, why? I scrolled down and saw other conversations I wanted to contribute to and then I realized that this is the exact pattern I want to break: getting chained down to Facebook all day waiting for my turn in the back-and-forth of the argument. For what? I don’t GAF about these people, I won’t remember this convo in a year, rarely are minds changed, and in the end I’ll keep losing hours of my life to bullshit people (many of whom I don’t even know?).

I do enjoy in-person discussions. But what I think we’ve collectively failed to realize is that Facebook isn’t the same at all. It’s not similar to hanging out and have a few beers with friends & engaging in a lively discussion. You have nuance in-person, you have empathy, you have an ability to explain quickly and it all happens in real time. You don’t have convos that stretch out for days because someone disappears to go work, or what have you. Random people don’t barge into your circle and start screaming at everyone. You can say, “well, great talk but I’m calling it a night,” and everyone just leaves. No one continues screaming into the ether.

Will this sojourn last? Maybe, I don’t know. But right now it’s been great for my soul. I feel calmer and more productive than I’ve ever felt. Since retiring I’ve tried to look at ways to stave off technology’s grasp on my life and basically it comes down to, “don’t post, don’t comment.” It’s interesting to watch the algorithm struggle to try and keep me on the platform by just upping the notifications from communities and from where friends have commented on the posts of our mutual friends. But that doesn’t have the pull of a comment on a post or a reply to one of your comments.

I think in the end the balance just tipped for me and SM has become less enjoyable. Too much horrible news from the US (I can’t do anything about), too much news from random places that really don’t concern me but that heighten my anxiety, and too much performative nastiness that serves to shame, not educate.

I have four good hours of energy my brain allows me a day. I can spend it arguing with someone’s racist uncle Bob or I can read, draw, swim with my family and enjoy group chats with friends on Signal. The choice is obvious.