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Being alone is great, loneliness is not

Being alone is great, loneliness is not

“If being, and doing things, alone is increasingly widespread – and stigma-free – then how to make the most of it? A couple of key factors everyone agrees on are finding a healthy balance between solo time and communing with others – and having the ability to choose solitude, rather than being forced to experience it. “The greatest indication of success in time alone is that a person has chosen that space believing that there is something important and meaningful there,” says Hansen, adding that solitude is a “neutral blob of sculpting clay; it can be whatever we mould it into”.

Fittingly, according to McGraw it’s perhaps best to not mould said blob into “lying in bed, vaping and ordering Uber Eats”. Rather, he suggests channelling alone time into creative pursuits and pastimes that tend to blossom in solitude; a walk or a run, people-watching at a cafe, going to a museum and “taking it all in, as fast or slow as you can”. Or how about “sitting in a bath listening to Vivaldi”, he adds more specifically, or taking an online course?”

How being alone can make you happier

Link dump

Link dump

Hello! I have been busy reading a GIANT pile of books I have taken out from the library as well as tackling some video games. I have been mostly pleased with my divestment from social media (do blogs still count? They used to). I have kept a few links that I’ve enjoyed lately so today’s post is just sharing those. Hopefully, something longer will be written soon.

Canadian personal finance
The best free retirement calculators in Canada.

Parents lack an RESP financial plan. “I crunched some numbers to find out the cost of going to university in Ontario…Taking an average of … four, I calculated that students need about $125,000 for a four-year undergraduate arts degree, if they live away from home.”

Society
Why kids are quitting sports.

Millennials say that they need $525000 a year to be happy.

Relationships
Social media is not your couples’ therapist. I have noticed similar advice for diagnosis’ as well. Accounts need to keep people engaged & constantly sharing to remain relevant and to curry favour with the algorithm. I have seen weirdly normal behaviours pathologized as being indicative of a problem. People repost these things because they’re relatable but I think a lot of them are relatable because they are things most of us do. There is a lot of self-diagnosis happening and it’s worrisome.

I just finished the book The Good Life and I highly recommend it. Here is a good primer on how to craft enduring happiness.

Further to that, I do appreciate the friendships I have with both older and younger folks.

How men can build better friendships