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Digital creep

Digital creep



I love these two ding dongs
Nature doesn’t like a void and apparently neither does my brain. I guess after working so long in Communications and a lot of it in Social Media, I should have known that I would revert to my natural state. Fill that void!

So being off of facebook and Instagram was fine until things started going south…well, down south. I could not put down the news, I doubled the amount of blogs written by economists on my Feedly & I watched a lot more youtube videos than I ever had. Finally, I was finding myself on reddit a lot (and I don’t even have an account!). It was too much.

After days of having my nervous system on overdrive, I finally turned off the internet, put on a fire and started to tackle my backlog of shows and library books. I didn’t think more David Graeber is what I really needed at this moment in time, but maybe MORE David Graeber IS what I really need? I continue to work my way through his essays. Mr. Tucker and I are also watching our way through the seasons of Taskmaster that we’ve missed, and we’ve also started Son of a Critch (now with 100% more SURPRISE Malcolm McDowell). We aren’t TV people, but I feel like things that take you out of the current moment are a helpful and soothing balm from THE HORRORS.

At any rate, I have cleaned up my lists and plan to focus on just reading the newspaper every day instead of mainlining news sites and BlueSky all day. I am always surprised when I get digital creep, but I shouldn’t be. I find myself on autopilot for a few weeks adding more and more content to sift through every day until one day I realize that I am overwhelmed by content. I wake up, I scale back, rinse & repeat. I would love to say that I have come upon some magical system whereas I have discovered the ONE TRUE PATH to reclaiming your time back from digital creep but alas… I guess my advice comes down to just don’t “like and subscribe for more!”?

Generalizations and the chronically online white knight

Generalizations and the chronically online white knight



I don’t want to get into the weeds about this much but here is today’s mini rant. Holy pope on a rope am I tired of folks being immobilized from taking ANY action at all because that action may be seen as imperfect.

I am using the Buy Canadian movement as an example because I have never seen so much hand wringing over what constitutes “Canadian” in my LIFE. Yes, for sure it would great if you could buy 100% Canadian from a company that is HQd in Canada, is listed on the TSX and who employs Canadians. But it isn’t very realistic. Firstly, we don’t have everything we need here – it’s a global economy; and secondly, most products are a combination of: sourced, made, packaged, cooked, designed in, supplied by, HQd in…etc.

I am very tired of coming across posts every day by martyrs hoping to lead us all down the road of salvation by eulogizing on the topic of inclusivity. They (rightly) point out that disabled folk, poor folk, newcomers, older folks etc. may not be able to fully commit to this movement because of limitations and barriers. But the thing is: no one is going after marginalized people! We instinctively know that not everyone is able to fully participate.

As a person who is disabled it absolutely infuriates me when someone white knights their way into using marginalized folks as a shield for their own behaviour. I know a lot of disabled folks. They were able to function before amazon and almost no one I know uses amazon at all because there are alternatives. Even if they are, no one cares that they are. Writing a post about how if amazon goes away it will harm disabled people is a red herring these people use to justify their own unwillingness to divest from their comfortable and easy purchasing decisions. What they are looking for is absolution and they are getting it by posting and seeing all the comments agreeing with them. But I am willing to bet that they’ve never advocated for more accessibility in their communities (ramps and door openers are a great start!) and probably use the disabled stall with regularity.[1]

This is not a treatise against advocating for marginalized communities. Au contraire, it’s a call to reflect on whether or not you are using marginalized folks to gain wider culture points or as a justification for your own choices. But generalizations exist for a reason and so when someone says, “Buy Canadian!” it is with the caveat that we all have limitations that others may not see. Perfection is the enemy of the good, after all.

Here she goes again…algorithms

But we aren’t good with generalizations anymore because if we don’t caveat every single minute possibility, it’s a feeding frenzy online. You can’t say the most neutral thing in the world like, “my favourite colour is red,” without someone screaming in the comments, “WHY DO YOU HATE BLUE!?” Then it goes viral and you are the baddie-de-jour. It’s the lowest common denominator of human interaction that allows zero grace for humans acting human.

Because the algorithms favour pile-ons, we get served up a lot of this viral content, which we react to, thus furthering the reach and influence of it. In turn, we have trained ourselves to be overly-cautious with our language so that we don’t anger – and we get rewarded by – complete strangers on the internet. So at the risk of inciting rage in others, our very basic, general post about liking the colour red now becomes, “I love all of the other colours but my preference is red – not that it’s better or worse than the other colours – it is just what, I personally, prefer.” I think also that goalposts are constantly shifting online not because it leads to bringing more people to your side but because once people become acclimated to certain rules in the in-group, the only way to peel away from the pack is to take more outlier behaviours and try and normalize them with new viral content. This new standard gets shared widely and those folks go viral and get more followers. This creates a new outsider group of people who aren’t terminally online & who didn’t know about the new thing. Voila: new people to pile onto! Rinse, repeat.

I am sure if you lean left you read the above paragraph as a condemnation of the left but also if you lean right, you’ve read that as a condemnation of the right. That’s how insidious this system is and why bad actors often chaotically post extreme content from both ends of the political spectrum: it works. It also pushes us further away from each other.

Interestingly, bots have latched onto this & a lot of creators are discovering if they do videos on, say, Russia/Ukraine, the whataboutism pile-ons start in the comments, “Forget Russia! What about Gaza? Isreal is the real monster here!” But people can care about multiple things so I dunno what to tell ya, bots. But I think it is telling that foreign interference agencies have discovered that we are motivated to change our opinions and methods of communication based on the bullying in comment sections, so why not step into that vacuum and create some fake drama? At the very least it will stir in some doubt (much like if you click your red ruby slippers three times and constantly post, “Ukraine invaded Russia” on Truth social, eventually some people will believe it).

Step back.
Assume that people are trying their best.
Ask yourself, “is this a positive and productive post/comment I am making?”
Be clear with what your intended goal is in posting/commenting.
Give grace. We’re all at different stages of our journey.[2]

[1] there is usually only one disabled stall in a public bathroom and you should always leave it for disabled folks, if you can. If there is a line up, please allow people who need the accessible stall (or in the case of someone who needs to change a baby because often the station is in there) be next in line for it. If you are able-bodied you usually have the choice of many, and we only have the one. Also, some people require urgent access to a bathroom due to the nature of their disabilities.

[2] There was a time when I was a chronically online edgelord but I have really cleaned up my act since the pandemic. It’s ok to change, even if it is only marginally better, that’s still better. There is a post probably in here about how most progressive men often find me exhausting due to sexism but they will claim it is because I am too opinionated/abrasive. Ironically, it’s never the men in that social group who are considered obnoxious even though they often spout similar commentary (or in some cases, repeat/steal what I have said to much kudos).

Giving people grace in online discourse

Giving people grace in online discourse

I loved this piece – investing from a cave – mostly because I have been discussing the same thing with Mr. Tucker lately. When I started this blog and when I set up my Instagram I limited comments. Why? Because I used to work in social media, that’s why. I know people are going to hate this because in the past 15 years since social media became a HUGE thing we have been told that everyone has a right to their opinion in the online town square but I am here to say the opposite: no. No, I don’t need to hear every opinion under the sun. In fact, it is probably better that I don’t.

This is not to say that I don’t respect people’s ability to have their own space to voice their own opinions: I most certainly do! But I don’t feel like I should have to “take it” just because it’s online and some bro is screaming, “freedom of speech!” at me. That’s why I tightly control the spaces I have created. While this could be a lengthy treatise on the state of online discourse, that would just be beating a dead horse. We all know that the state of online conversation often rapidly descends into name-calling, abuse and even threats. People have actually died from swatting so it’s a very serious issue that should be taken seriously. I take it seriously by not allowing comments to blow up to that level by …not allowing comments. It’s also why the first thing I did when I went on disability leave was to shitcan twitter. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I do maintain a facebook account for community stuff as well as to keep in contact with certain people. I also have Instagram to document photos and keep up with an entirely different group of people. Often, the algorithm will serve me up some random content – usually a reel – with 20k+ comments on it. It’s just so shocking to me that 20k+ people felt the urge to spend some time of their “one wild and precious life” to argue, denigrate and generally act like an ass online. WHY? Are we so addicted to the dopaminergic buzz we get from beefing with strangers that we let it consume our minutes, hours and days? Clearly the answer is yes. What’s more, other people create this content in order to sew discord amongst people with their hot takes in order to generate income. What a mess.

I have been on the internet for a very, very long time and I remember the days of Livejournal with its snark communities (no literally, they were called Snark_OtherCommunityName) that were designed to trash posts where people were (often) asking really dumb questions. To this day I cannot remember even one of the arguments I had 20 years ago on Livejournal. All those hours spent angry and trying to one-up people was in the end, a ridiculous waste of my time.

As the newer platforms ramped up, reacts & comment sections did similar dirty work on public accounts, and it got worse and worse as the algorithms keyed into the fact that enragement is engagement. If you haven’t read The Chaos Machine yet, I highly recommend it. It details the far-reaching consequences of that business model and how it’s undermined democracy, encouraged genocide and rewired our brains. It’s a great read and a macrocosm of the online negativity we’ve all experienced.

I spend a lot of time thinking about how humans historically have had about 100 people in their circle and even the people who ventured outside of their small hamlets have really only come across about 500. Compare that to the 22k+ comments on a reel and it is no wonder we are living in a time of huge anxiety and worry. Marketing and algorithms favour making us feel inadequate and promote lies and misinformation, so no wonder we are confused, depressed and miserable.

This isn’t to say that I don’t love a rousing debate – because I do! In fact, in high school I was co-captain of the debate team. Nothing fills me with more joy than a couple of pints at the pub with some of my friends, discussing weighty issues. In general, social convention often (but not always) dictates that these conversations are what Nick Cave calls Good Faith Conversations. Here is the difference between a battle of minds at the pub and online comment sections: there is a real, live person in front of you. No one is hiding behind a screen spewing off rage, you know who you are speaking to and you know how to shut things down if they become overheated. It’s much more difficult to read someone’s intent or rage levels when they are behind an avatar. In-person discussions with strangers tend to be kinder, more respectful because you can see their faces, see their feelings and have to often live with them in your community. Conversations happen in the moment, giving people time and space to explain themselves as opposed to online where dialogue can be stretched out over myriad days as just when you think the convo has ended…some random person jumps in and starts fighting all over again. It feels like you constantly have to look over your shoulder because you never know when the attack may start afresh (it’s also why I make all of my facebook posts private after 24 hours – to control the time I spend on there).

Also, we are so much different online than in other sphere of our lives. We act differently around our grandparents than we do our friends. We speak in different tones to our children than we do our bosses. Context matters. So for a lot of people social media has been a balancing act between saying what we feel vs. not saying anything at all for fear of alienating certain groups of people in our lives. Sure, we can have different accounts or use filtered lists (and block the more unsavoury people we still need to keep in touch with) but often it is just easier to keep our social media to the most innocuous content. This makes us feel disingenuous and alienated and sometimes I wonder if it is just easier to not have any content at all.

I am grateful to the internet for bringing me some of the closest, most amazing friends I have ever had but with that comes a dark side. I enjoy blogging and I enjoy reading blogs. I don’t even mind respectful, contrarian points being made. But much too often I see even the most normal people react in extreme ways to content they don’t enjoy or agree with – myself included. Sometimes I will go back and read comments I’ve left previously and they come off as harsh when I intended them to just be factual. That is the challenge with online discourse: you have no frame of reference in body language or knowledge of people’s personalities so it can be read in a completely different tone by different people. Previously I always read comments as being more negative in tone but over the years I have learned to give people more grace and until they show me otherwise, I choose to read their commentary positively instead. It’s difficult and I don’t always hit the target but I do try. We are all human though and are ruled by human foibles like overreacting when we have had a bad day.

Still, in the end, if you don’t like the content I am serving, you are free to not read it at all. You are also free to post a counter-argument in your own space. But you will have to excuse me if I choose to not debate you in public. I don’t have time to respond to pile-ons from strangers and quite frankly, you shouldn’t either. No two people are going to agree 100% of the time and that’s ok. Scroll on my friend, just scroll on.

Let’s all go for a walk and touch some grass.