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Labour for Labour Day

Labour for Labour Day


UGH. Dark, dirty, cluttered and unusable

My friend Cory says that the real New Year is actually the first day of school. I am not going to lie: the first day after Labour Day does have fresh start vibes. I think it also helps that in Canada it often feels like fall comes in suddenly between that last week of August and the first week of September. For sure it also has a lot to do with the fact that we spend 14 years in school and even more if you head off to post-secondary school. With every new September, I loved the feeling of the fresh start with every school year. So when I joined the work world and was trudging off to work, I would see all of the kids during Frosh week & made me nostalgic and a bit sad. It felt like that fun time of my life was over and that all I had to look forward to was 40 years of drudgery in the form of a full time job. (SPOILER: thankfully, it didn’t end up like that though!)

When we moved into our house in December 2017, a month later in January 2018 I was diagnosed with PLS. So then came the most chaotic two years of us figuring out disability, managing emotions around disability, figuring out my work situation, dealing with a child who was upset with the move and the urge to TRAVEL RIGHT NOW TO ALL OF THE PLACES BEFORE YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ANYMORE. We did some travelling over the next two years and then found ourselves home-bound – much like the rest of the world – in 2020. Of course, that had its own challenges and while we gardened and had family activities to replace the ones we lost, we never quite unpacked or went through our things like we should have. Our new home had a ton of storage and when the kids outgrew things, we just stuffed it into a box in the back room.

Then this year, for some strange reason, I decided a week before our community garage sale that we would finally, FINALLY go through all of the junk we had stored for the past 6 years. Enlisting the children to help by bribing them, we went through all of the boxes. We sorted, we washed, we donated and we tossed a lot of stuff over that week and in the end we joined in the garage sale, it went well and the children made some pocket cash.

Un(fortunate?)ly, we also discovered that the seal on our toilet had failed and that the toilet had started leaking through the floor. I am glad we caught it when we did because it ended up being a cheap fix but it meant that we had to keep all of the storage out in the main rec room area of the basement while everything dried…and then – in true Tucker fashion – we just left it there.

Then a few stars aligned: the city decided that they would impose a 3-item max on garbage as of September 30th and at some point the amount of crap the kids would just toss around the basement became out of control. The laundry started seeping out of the laundry room into the main rec area and it was becoming clear that we had lost a lot of things to the giant pile that was growing beside the Eldest’s room. Enough was enough: something needed to be done.

That something came in the form of me, going downstairs. Stairs are typically difficult for me so I don’t usually head down to the basement despite the fact that we had installed a second railing and set up a small home gym last year. I kinda abandoned the home gym though because the lighting was so dark and with the black floors and dark brown walls it was just too depressing to go down there.

So it was clear that we needed to make a more inviting space. The Eldest is having a lot more sleepovers and it was embarrassing to watch them all sneak into her room and shut the door because the rest of the basement was so cluttered. Since we have a projector down there and some couches, I figured it would be nicer if the kids had their own little space to play video games or watch movies.

If we were going to do something with that space, it needed to be before school started and before the garbage restriction – so Labour Day weekend it was!

Last week the Eldest had stopped working and the Youngest was out of camps so we buckled down and sorted through the boxes. In the evening, Mr. Tucker organized them and put what we were keeping back in storage. On Thursday night we headed out and did errands managing to kill many birds with one stone (or one circular trip, as it were): we got school supplies, bought paint, porch dropped some things that I had put up on Buy Nothing, and the rest got dropped off at the charity store (for which we got a 20% off coupon for our next purchase!) all within 1.5 hours! It was glorious to finally see the hard work come to fruition. A couple of hundred dollars more would get us some floor lamps, couch covers and a Chromecast & then we were set: a basement we could use again!

The cost? (all prices in CAD)
$115.24 Couch covers
$158.15 Daylight mimicking lamps
$193.78 Paint & supplies (we could have made this cheaper but I consider the quality combined with the short window of opportunity to be worth just going for it)
$0 Chromecast (paid with a gift card that Mr. Tucker had but originally $39.99+tax)
—-
$467.17 total

But what is really great is being able to use our space again! I am no longer embarrassed to have the Eldest’s friends over and Mr. Tucker are going to design our workout schedule going forward.

Sure, I could have done it for less money and waited for sales on a variety of things. But there is a reason why we have the saying, “strike while the iron is hot.” In most of our days we struggle balancing having the time, energy and space to get larger projects accomplished. So when the stars align and we have able bodies and a 3-day weekend, I am going to eat the cost and have the goal accomplished. It makes no sense for me to wait it out to save $100 if in the end that means 5 more months (or more) of having an unusable space.


BEHOLD! A useable, bright amazing space!

What makes a home & chore theory

What makes a home & chore theory

What I’m reading
Children of homeowners twice as likely to own homes themselves.

Almost 40% of US homeowners own their homes outright as of 2022—many of them baby boomers who refinanced when rates were low.

The list of brain conditions that have been associated with changes elsewhere in the body is long and growing. Changes in the make-up of the microorganisms resident in the gut, for example, have been linked to disorders such as Parkinson’s disease and motor neuron disease.The brain and body are intertwined.

A thought piece
This is a FANTASTIC piece: how your house makes you miserable. “How do you make your home entirely your own — a reflection of your good taste! — while also making it wholly acceptable to the market-reflected gaze? The only solution is to make the market-inflected taste your taste. And that experience can be incredibly alienating, particularly when you convince yourself that you’re doing a remodel that you’re going to love, spend a ton of time and energy on it, and then look around and think meh.”

When we bought our house a friend of mine said to me, “Yeah, we looked at that house but it needed so many renovations to make it liveable.” WHAT? This house was in perfect condition when we bought it and in the 6 years we’ve lived here we have few problems (the oven died but it was original to the house – 1962!). We did do some cosmetic work to the house such as tear up all of the white carpet and refinish the hardwood underneath. We also installed laminate throughout the basement (again, white carpet) as well as replace the vanity in the main bathroom to a two-sink Ikea one for the kids & replaced the linoleum with tile flooring. Overall though, we only spent about $1500 in those cosmetic changes. Conversely, I think this friend wanted to turn this mid-century bungalow into a modern showpiece which would have required tearing down walls, putting in marble counters etc. We liked it just the way it was.

Sure our cabinets are crappy 80s ones that have been painted white and we unfortunately have popcorn ceilings (which people apparently hate but I am neutral on the subject). I just think that not everything has to look like it’s about to be featured on HGTV. I remember my friends and I all living in a bunch of old, crummy apartments with weirdly angled ceilings and wonky closet doors. All of these places had charm because they were each vastly different from each other. We also used to decorate with a mish-mash of found items interspersed with Ikea furniture and every place was so different from another one.

I guess renovating the condo has put this to the forefront of my mind because a condo is a different beast. A friend of ours had suggested that we just sell it “as is” with all the smoke damage, the yellow paint, shitty cabinets and no appliances. But I think people expect more of a turnkey experience with a condo where a house is more of a place that you would accept some imperfections in exchange for the location, land and bones of the place. The condo cabinets and the counters *do* look dated which is a pain when you are trying to sell. But I am loathe to tear them out and do a full reno because a> it’s wasteful; b> the people who buy it may just tear it all out and reno themselves anyway. I abhor the idea of wasting all that time and money only to have it all tossed into the garbage. So we’ve mostly focused on replacing the damaged bits, did smoke remediation, tossed on a coat of fresh paint and bought new appliances.

I think as well that we view our house as our HOME and not an investment. So we don’t care to be constantly updating it. It’s also why I installed a sit-down tub instead of a roll-in shower. Yes, the tub was very expensive AND it will reduce the value of the home should we put it on the market. But so what? I plan to have my corpse dragged out of here and during my (hopefully long) lifetime I will get a lot of enjoyment out of being able to take a bath whenever I want.

Child labour
We asked the kids if they would like to clean the house on the weekend for the same amount of money we pay the housecleaner. The reason why is because The Eldest had Covid last week and so we told the cleaner not to come (clearly!) but the house still needed a good once-over. They were really excited about earning money and The Youngest was even more excited to learn that the money I offered was for EACH of them and not SPLIT between them. Haha. Crap, I could have paid them even less! 😉

The kids did a FANTASTIC job – as good or even better than our housecleaner does. I was thoroughly impressed. To be fair, we used to clean as a family and so they have had years of practice. But post-pandemic with all of the busy-ness and my health we decided that having someone come and clean every two weeks was worth the money.

My kids have always had unpaid chores. From the time they were toddlers at the end of the day we would play music, dance around and put our toys away before dinner. This was to get them into the habit of tidying, not because they were good at it. Us parents did most of the actual tidying but over time they grew into the habit of actually putting their stuff away at the end of the day and then we just built on that.

By 6 & 8 they learned how to do the basics of cleaning by doing it with us, and by 10 & 12 they knew how to clean the entire house. That isn’t to say that the adults didn’t take on the majority of the work at first but over time they slowly did more and more on their own until we did none. They still do tidying in between the housekeeper visits as well as washing the dishes every night. We’ve also taught them some basic dishes that they can cook on their own. The Youngest in particular has been asking to learn more about cooking, so we are taking the time to teach them how to cook a variety of meals.

The one chore we actually pay the kids to do is folding and putting away my laundry. Mr. Tucker’s office is right next to the laundry room so he generally washes the clothes during the week so that by the weekend it’s all clean and in baskets. So on the weekend, they have to separate and fold/put away the household stuff (ie: towels and sheets) as well as do their own. Mr. Tucker is super picky so his is left and just does it when they are done.

In a sense, being disabled has really helped with teaching kids how to do chores. Children can be the masters of strategic incompetence when they don’t want to do something. So many parents just throw up their hands and do the task because ensuring a child learns how to do a chore can take twice as long and is way more stressful. But in my situation, I had no choice. I had to work through the process of them resisting learning how to do things because I just could not physically do them anymore. Of course, we are now all better off: the kids 100% have the skills to feed themselves and maintain a home and Mr. Tucker and I don’t have to struggle doing all the house stuff.

What’s even better is that they are proud of their skills. The Youngest came home once and told me that none of their friends were forced to do chores at home*. Their friends were saying things such as, “Why do you have to do anything? I don’t have to do any chores and I still get an allowance!” & The Youngest replied, “Because I live there for free? It’s only fair that I help out. Besides, I have the skills to live on my own now and you don’t.**” I was pretty impressed with that answer because it’s an astute observation for a 13-year-old to make I live there for free and it’s only fair that I help out.

We had planned to take up most of the housecleaning ourselves when Mr. Tucker retired but both kids said that they were happy to get paid to deep clean the house. So we may end up paying them to do the deep clean once-a-month instead. They like earning the money, they do a great job and since we generally manage to keep the house tidy enough in between deep cleans, it will work out for everyone. Of course, the time will come when they will be too busy with school and their own jobs. But then Mr. Tucker and I can take it back over.

Hope you are having a lovely Tuesday!

*The Eldest has also said this. It’s up for debate as to whether or not that is the truth. I am sure many kids have responsibilities.
**Ok, a bit rude and I also learned the trial by fire way when I first moved out and I wouldn’t recommend it.

Early spring cleaning

Early spring cleaning

When we moved in 2018 it was a chaotic rush. We found out in September that the house we were living in that we had agreed to buy wasn’t being sold to us for the price we had agreed upon. Instead of getting angry, we got focused & so we switched gears and started househunting. In the end we found the perfect house for us with a closing date of December.

During this time, it became clear that the surgery I had didn’t completely cure my mobility problems. My arms were tingling and my gait was still bad. My neurosurgeon ordered an MRI, discovered everything was fine with the surgical site and referred me back to the neurologist for more tests. Of course, we were packing, we both had stressful full-time jobs and two young children to take care of. It was a miserable time for us. Did I mention our closing date was less than two weeks before Christmas? So we just threw everything into boxes, shoved it into the rental container and when we moved it was just shoved it into the basement. We could deal with it at the new house when we had more time, right?

A month after we moved I received the startling diagnosis of Motor Neuron Disease – Primary Lateral Sclerosis. My life came to a sudden halt. Nothing seemed more important than traveling and spending time with my family. We focused on other things.

It’s been three years since we’ve moved though, I have stabilized and may have plateaued. The craziness of tests, doctor’s appointments, and paperwork for disability has passed. I am now medically retired and Mr. Tucker and I have a plan for the future. All’s well that…well, is at least stable.

Despite having a family room down in the basement the stairs are steep and difficult for me to navigate. Recently though, Mr. Tucker put up the second bannister so I could get up-and-down easier from the basement, so it made sense to make the effort to get down there more. As I went down to the workshop I noticed how disorganized it was and he admitted that this room gave him so much anxiety that he just ignored it. So we made a commitment to inventory the freezers & pantry items and go through some of the junk.

Sunday afternoon we grabbed the kids, headed downstairs and did just that.

As with most things, just starting it was half the battle. The floor was just covered in boxes, wrappers and other packaging from purchases and once we got rid of that, it came down to what we wanted to throw away, donate, or keep. We set up some space for gardening supplies, another space for household goods, and we tidied our boxes of baking supplies & gift wrap/bags. Everything now has a place and some items will go off to new homes. Our old party supplies gave us the gift of a multitude of napkins and paper plates from parties past that we will use at future get-togethers (I mean, no one said no to a piece of cake just because it was on a Tinkerbell plate). The mismatched paper napkins I brought upstairs & we can use them now.

In the end, it only took the four of us a couple of hours to tackle the space & I think Mr. Tucker was happy that he wasn’t the only one on the hook to clean it all. Of course, we have a small storage area for seasonal stuff and old baby clothes that I need to rummage through but that won’t take too long, either. It just needs to be started. Once we pull it all out, it shouldn’t take more than an hour or so.

I think what has saved us is that a> we’ve never been shoppers; and, b> we’ve never been hoarders. While I will admit that I am a notoriously disorganized person in my everyday life, I do tend to get it together a few times a year and clear out swaths of space. Having said that, I am no minimalist and I like a bit of messiness to my space. Mr. Tucker and I started off in a 530sq foot space, landed into a 1200sq foot space for the first 9 years of raising our family. We’ve never owned a lot of stuff and our last home was partially furnished so we had to actually buy a few things. Now our new home is a mid-century bungalow that has 1300sq feet – and a family room, office space, laundry and some storage in the basement. It’s partially finished so I would say it has another 600sq feet of livable space. While the family room is large, there is almost nothing in it. How much space is open? Well the Sprout uses it to roller skate every day, so enough space that she can do that.

Still, if you don’t keep on top of stuff it gets out of hand, especially if it is “out of sight, out of mind.” But I don’t want to be one of those people who dies and leaves their kids 1900sq feet of junk to haul out to the dump. I would rather sell/donate/trash items as we go along. As we are working on organizing our lives it only makes sense to start with the clutter. Better late than never!