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An autumn diary

An autumn diary


As the kids would say, “always repost”

Things have picked up a little here at The Mullet and October is generally when things kick into high gear for our family. Now that we’ve settled into a school/activity routine it is time to think of more important things: HALLOWEEN. But first, Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving Day in Canada is the second Monday in October. So you get a lot of mileage out of Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers, at least from October 1st until November 10th [1].

We spent Thanksgiving with some of our closest friends and as usual, it was wonderful. We have rented cottages in the past and gone away with the our families over Thanksgiving weekend, but they’ve hosted it two years in a row and both times it’s been great. They did the turkey and pies and we brought some side dishes. After dinner we played games & chatted over drinks and it ended up being a very chill, very fun evening.

Bonus: they had so many leftovers from Thanksgiving this year that we ended up making a turkey pot pie the next day (and freezing it – we ate leftovers for like 3 days and that was quite enough turkey for one week!).

We gave up hosting ALL holidays during the pandemic and thankfully have never gone back to it, at least for family. Every year it was one drama after another and it had occurred to me during the downtime of covid that people only complained and judged us (“Oh, are these…paper…plates? What an interesting…choice!” Yeah, unless you’re offering to do dishes, we’re gonna go ahead and feed the 20 people stacked in our living room this year on paper plates. COPE.). Mr. Tucker and I were running ourselves ragged for people who didn’t appreciate the work we put into hosting *every* family gathering for years, even when we had two small children. The pièce de résistance was the troll who brought their own gravy one year because they didn’t like ours and who – while we were scrambling to get dinner on the table for 14 people – demanded we warm it up for them. As soon as covid hit, I realized how insane it was to keep trying and my instinct couldn’t have been more on point: no one invited us to their place for holidays post-covid. So it was clear they weren’t interested, either. Sometimes you have to stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.


My lovely friend Jenn porch-dropped these flowers off last week, so kind!

Saying that we are a “Halloween family” is grossly underestimating how much we lean into Spooky Season. As a recovering goth, I have imparted my love for the macabre onto my children. During the pandemic we used to decorate and watch #13daysofHalloweenMovies but now that the kids are older, we do a lot less family stuff because they do a lot more Spooky Season stuff with their friends.

I have seen a lot of pushback from folks who think Halloween is too commercialized and I guess that has become somewhat true. But it’s true in the way that *everything* seems too commercialized these days with the tiktok shop and obsession with keeping the social media eyeballs glued to apps. It also still has nothing on Christmas, if we are honest with ourselves. But it is the one holiday – and I will die on this hill – where you don’t really need to buy much to enjoy it. You can make a clever costume out of nothing, you can give away inexpensive candies, you can host a fun horror-themed potluck. I am also a big fan of bringing nature in from the outside: acorns, leaves, berries are all great autumn decor and can be had for the low cost of a walk around your neighbourhood, at least in Canada.

But despite this, I continue to put out the same old decorations that I got at 90% off from when I worked at Michael’s during Uni in the 90s. A few things from thrift stores and craft fairs have made their way into the Halloween box, but most of it is over 25 years old. Other than that, we have a few pumpkins we grew this year, a few giant pumpkins we bought to carve the week before & they just sit outside next to the two Chrysanthemums on the porch until that day, and finally a handful of gourds to decorate the table. Most of the yearly decor I bring into our lives in the fall, I try to ensure is compostable.


Mr. Tucker and I took a broommaking class last year so I made this wonky broom with my own hands!

I also was clever last December and managed to nab passes to my children’s favourite Halloween event: Frightfest. It’s basically a haunted hayride in the dark and 5 haunted houses in one evening. The tickets were on sale for $21 each, one week before Christmas last year. Compared to the eye-watering cost if you wanted to buy them now: $63 *per person*. BIG YIKES. So I bought the kids 3 tickets each so they could take two friends with them. Basically, by planning ahead I got 3 tix for the price of 1.

This year The Eldest is re-purposing last-year’s costume & The Youngest is making her own, she has most of it but we have to seek out a few things up at the thrift store next week to fill it out a bit. Historically, we’ve always made pizza and been home base from which the kids & their friends started trick-or-treating. This year The Youngest is instead going to another friend’s neighbourhood & will sleep over there (ahh the awesomeness of a weekend Halloween!). The Eldest will probably stay in the neighbourhood and Mr. Tucker and I will stay behind & give out cans of pop to the trick-or-treaters (we have soooooo much pop & we rarely drink it). Then on Saturday night we are off to an adult Halloween party with friends, so I am still trying to figure out what I will do for a costume. We’re pretty good at scroungin’ ‘round these parts so I will come up with something this week.

(as I am writing this, a huge flock of murder chickens Canada geese are flying overheard, a harbinger of winter)

A fall recap:
September: apples and leaves month!
October: gourds and spooky things!
November: poppies (and then greenery after Nov 11!)
December: Solstice and Yule season!

To me, despite the darkness and cold, it is the best quarter of the year!

Today is my children’s most dreaded day: garden cleanup day. Each kid is assigned a garden bed to clean out & compost. Mr. Tucker brings in the kale to freeze and will pot some herbs too keep in the kitchen over winter. I already did the sundried tomatoes this week and a few more soldiers are sitting on the window ledge, ripening. This is the last of the outdoor chores for this fall. The patio cushions are away, my tricycle has been put away and now everything is prepared for living beneath the snow during the cold winter months.

[1]Yes, I am a no-decorating-for-Christmas-until-after-Remembrance-Day-girlie. Some people care, some do not, it’s just a thing I have always kinda had a rule about.

Goodbye spendy summer, hello frugal fall

Goodbye spendy summer, hello frugal fall


Morning of the last dragon boat festival of the year

We’re heading into Autumn and we kissed the summer goodbye at an End of Summer bonfire & BBQ party on the Mississippi River (no, not that one) this past weekend. It was a classic Canadian fall day where you leave the house bundled up in a sweater because of the chill and then by 2pm you’re boiling hot and the sun is beating down on you. Then as soon as dinnertime hits, it’s cold and dewy again. A friend from dragon boat hosted a lovely afternoon at her house and it was nice to be outside on what will probably be one of the last warm days of the season.


Em-eye-ess-ess-eye-ess-ess-eye-pee-pee-eye

Dragon boat ended the last week of August, another season under my belt. It’s just as well: the kids were back in school the following Monday so over the long weekend we tried to get as many lingering “big” chores done as we could. Like many folks, this included cleaning out the garage and selling or giving away a few things that we no longer use. Since many people use this weekend to clean out their garages, enough folks were driving around scouring the neighbourhood for free stuff that we didn’t have to haul a lot to the dump. WIN/WIN.

Summers tend to be lackadaisical here at The Mullet. We don’t tend to eat together, we all have different activities, different schedules and different sleep patterns. The week before school starts we tend to tighten it back up slowly by meal prepping, organizing school supplies (and buying only what is needed), doing more baking for lunches, and getting to bed before midnight. The summer is also for random visits to the ice cream parlour, hot dates on patios, overspending at events, hitting the local microbreweries & food trucks, and hosting parties. It tends to be a very spendy time of year but I don’t think about it much. But the end of summer also marks the tightening of the budget.


These Ground Cherries went into into an amazing spice cake

This year we’ve been hit by a bunch of random expenses (which honestly, aren’t random at all). I have to pay quarterly taxes this year because it makes more sense for Mr. Tucker to claim most of the tax credits. The pool heater died 3 months after the warranty was up. We redid the floors in the condo, the car needed some work, we had to buy a new dishwasher (and pay a plumber to install it, we tried but the pipe needed to be cut down), and of course our car insurance doubled because The Eldest is now driving. When I say random, what I really mean is that I always have money tucked away for emergencies or for planned spending but a lot came at us at once so the accounts are on the low side. It happens.

But I also know I will feel better if I watch my spending for a bit. The kids have their own budgets to manage and I just will be a bit tighter with my discretionary spending for awhile. I have a trip planned with some girlfriends in November *and* I am throwing myself a 50th birthday bash a week later, so a lot of my discretionary spending over the next two months will go towards those two things. I find our spending ebbs and flows during the course of the year and I get more or less spendy depending on the weather.


A friend’s 50th birthday! There are a few of us this year

Now that fall has ushered itself in, so has my desire to stay close to home. It’s just as well, our garden is overflowing with peppers, tomatoes and herbs and it’s about to get busy with the processing for winter. Tonight I fire roasted some tomatoes, made a salsa and then I crushed & froze 2 litres of tomatoes for future meals. More tomatoes are ripening and I’d like to get some sun dried tomatoes done before the frost comes. We usually get bulk apples (does anything represent September more than the humble apple?) from a friend but it looks like her family is retiring from the apple biz, so I will have to hit the farm stand up the road to get some fresh apples. I like to chop a bunch up & dehydrate some for winter…and of course we eat a pile of them because they’re so good this time of year.


I am probably one of the few people who know their family eats 10lbs of fresh garlic in a year

Other than that, it’s helping the kids get organized for school & activities. The Youngest is doing her snowboard instructor training this year as well as volunteering at the library. She recently discovered that she can read books and write reviews on them in exchange for volunteer hours and so she’s over the moon! She came home from the last volunteer meeting with a giant pile so it looks like she will tackle that. The Eldest and I are still hammering out what courses she needs for university. It’s been a stressful and chaotic beginning to the school year because it feels so *dire* to be choosing what classes to take for her last year of high school in order to get into the programs/schools she wants. I’ve told the kids that nothing is set in stone and that life has many do-overs but it’s still stressful for a 17-year-old to try and figure out a path for a career she wants to spend 3-5 years in school for! She can always switch majors but I get it – it’s a lot.


The last BAC show of the season. Next year is MEH so we will be skipping

Labour day also marked one of the happiest changes of the season: it’s video game time again! I quit playing games from May to September because I like to be outside more. It’s just a good way to prevent myself from staying inside and being a mushroom with thumbs. I know that I am late to the party but I am still working on The Witcher 3. Will I finish before The Witcher 4 comes out? Stay tuned! I’d also like to play Cyberpunk this winter, it’s just sitting there on my Steam account taunting me. I don’t tend to watch a lot of tv & movies generally but in the summer it drops to zero. Still, I have a few shows to watch – like the last season of Taskmaster – which will keep me company now that sitting outside is less of an option.

I guess that’s what makes it a frugal fall: video games, tv and food preservation. But mainly, it’s staying close to home & having fewer social events as the cold weather hits. By next month Canadians realize that life doesn’t stop for weather and the transition back into social events will begin in time for spooky season.

Meat space

Meat space

Apologies for a really quiet fall. I Have been spending time in the meat space as part of the GREAT DISILLUSIONMENT I have been having with the online world.

Sorry that this is more of a list than a post, but you get what you pay for!


Bringing in the herbs

It has generally been a fairly busy autumn season as Thanksgiving & Halloween are generally chaotic times and then runs smack dab into Christmastide, which is just bonkers. Halloween is also our favourite holiday of the year so we tend to do a LOT at that time of the year.

I had a free night hotel reward I had to use so we headed to Kingston for the weekend to do Fort Fright at Fort Henry. It was only a day trip but it was good to get away and the kids love Fort Fright. Our friends invited us for Thanksgiving so we baked some pies before we left to bring with us on the Monday for dinner.

Our kids really lean into it by going to a local farm for their myriad haunted houses and other activities. We also do the obligatory pumpkin carving night. I love that our teens still are into dressing up in elaborate costumes and heading out to trick-or-treat. Gen-Z is truly amazing and I really like how they are more than happy to savour every moment of their childhoods. That meant we hosted 8 children for dinner before they headed out into the night. Mr. Tucker and I stayed back and handed out candy to the neighbourhood kids and it was a pretty great night.


 

My book-slash-travel-slash-trivia-slash-craft club went to Montreal for a weekend in November. We took the train which is still an absolute treat even for my adult self. We managed to grab a table together so we could chat and it was a relaxing fall ride through the countryside. We booked an Airbnb which was mostly accessible and right in the middle of where we wanted to be. We did all of the requisite Montreal things: lunch at Swartz’s, Bagels from a variety of amazing places, and a fun trip to Notre Dame cathedral for the sound and light show. But also we just chilled out, played games and chatted. It was a lovely weekend with friends.


Ok, we ate a LOT

Mr. Tucker took a 3-day knife-making course in November as well, in which he crafted a blade from a metal ingot, sewed a leather pouch for it, and carved a wood handle as well. It was an intense three days but he ended up with a fantastic Pukka knife that he made with his own hands.

We also did a knit Viking bracelet class at the Tool Library which was super interesting. It was my birthday gift to myself and we both came home with cool bracelets. Hopefully they will host another class in the new year because even though I was slow, I really enjoyed the process.

Mr. Tucker and I did most of our Christmas shopping in October and the beginning of November. This year, instead of buying Advent calendars we made them. They kids actually loved them and asked us to do that again next year. It was just things like lip balms, tea, face masks and stickers but it was fun. Right after Remembrance day, we finished all of the wrapping. Then all that was left was to nab the book-a-day Advent calendars from our local used book store and we were done for the year. I know that this seems INTENSE but December is a chaotic month between my birthday, Christmas parties, school concerts, the Winter Solstice party and Christmas that getting all of the gifts out of the way means I can lean in and enjoy the events…


Pics with Krampus at Coffin Creek


Decorating the tree


Advents

…and events there were! There were two PWHL games we got to end the year with, which was a teaser for January. I was sadly sick in bed on my birthday which was also the evening of The Eldest’s Christmas concert, so I was forced to miss it. We did manage to have cake, so YAY? I did manage to have my monthly dinner with friends from Dragon Boat and we went to the restaurant where my Stepson is chef, which was, as usual, amazing.

The parties were great: we have been having a friend Christmas get-together for around 20 years now and it has become more and more subdued over the years. In the beginning, we used to have these absolute ragers of food and drink where we were up until 6am still chatting. But we’ve become more sleepy in our old age and the party starts and ends earlier. I’m not made about it: it’s kind of lovely to have friends you can age with where you are all on the same page as the years go on. While we were out seeing friends, the kids were baking and decorating 4 dozen cupcakes for The Mission’s Cupcakes4Christmas event. They did an amazing job. I truly love having teenagers. They’re great!


We hosted a wonderfully quiet Winter Solstice party where we drank hot apple cider and made painted wood ornaments, strung dried citrus garlands and tossed our wishes into the fire with our hopes for 2025. It was low key and stress free, which is exactly how I like it. The kids invited friends so we got to share our 25-year-strong tradition with some new folks. It is one of my favourite nights of the year. A peaceful evening of fire, friends, food and introspection.

Naturally, that lead us right into Yuletide. Gone are the people-pleasing years of large dinners with the entire family descending on our home until Mr. Tucker and I were crushed by the weight of expectations, food, and alcohol. In the good way that the pandemic years turned everything on its head, we were happy to not have to host and so when restrictions let up, we…just didn’t host. The kids loved the new low-key Christmas where they didn’t have to dress up and perform like Circus animals for relatives with huge expectations. Shocking to no one: no one invited us to their houses when we stopped hosting. So it was, indeed, a fantastic decision.

Now we have a lovely Christmas Eve with my Dad and his girlfriend and my cousin (and his new partner joined us this year, which was amazing!). We order Chinese food, catch up and have a few drinks. Christmas morning starts late, we unwrap gifts and chill out drinking coffee or tea before Mr. Tucker whips up some crêpes for brunch and then we veg in our PJs and watch movies or shows. This year we watched the very last season of What We Do in the Shadows.

Finally, on Boxing Day my Stepson and his girlfriend come over and Mr. Tucker and my Stepson whipped up a feast before we have drinks and play Euchre. A perfect Christmastide, if I do say so myself.

So now we are smack dab into the Omen Days (intercalary days) or as I like to call them, “the days where we are made of just chocolate and cheese.” It ends with Women’s Little Christmas (or the Epiphany) (which I also wrote about last year). The plan is for the kids to have a NYE sleepover with their friends, a games night with our favourite folks, The Lytles and to generally putter around until school starts on January 6th.


Some last-minute wrapping on Yule Eve

Of course, so many other things have been happening including a bit of a personal renaissance (more about that soon) but it all comes down to this: I had planned to do a lot more in-person activities in 2024 and I DID IT. I had thought I was slacking on this goal but looking back even over the past quarter – I did a lot of stuff out in the Meat Space!

But I am getting ahead of myself…goals from 2024 and a wrap up is soon to come!

Just a pile of links today

Just a pile of links today

What I am reading
One of the most fascinating things about the current inflationary environment is how little people’s buying habits have changed. It’s interesting to see that people expect prices to either go down or stay the same but to have their salaries go up. This is not how things work. A great article on how people don’t understand how inflation works.

Inside the OnlyFans top earner empire. “Why would I spend my day doing dirty, degrading, minimum-wage labor when I can do something that brings more money in and that I have a lot more control over?”

When I was a first-time parent I was determined to keep up my beer-swigging, partying self to some extent. A lot of it had to do with facing a bunch of (what was in my head) pearl-clutching, pinched-faced parents who were uptight. In retrospect, a lot of us were feeling judged because we were judging ourselves. You never feel quite up to snuff as a parent and a lot of our feelings of being judged came from within us. Generally speaking unless it’s, say, an egregious drunken fist fight at the school fundraiser, most people don’t think of us at all. Adulthood is a mirage.

I can’t wait to the follow-up pro-buying post from this site as well: does renting make your finances more predictable? Most of my (very rich) friends rent and so we are outliers in that sense. They are also childfree, which we are not. This is kind of a Reverse Uno of the normal way of things from what I hear from the culture at large. It also means that I have a very middle-of-the-road stance on this issue. My tl;dr on this issue is that if you have money or are able-bodied, renting is almost always better.

What I am doing
It was winter tire day here and I really need to get that changeover price down now that our car is out of warrantee. It’s just way too expensive. We also should try and sell our winter tires from the old minivan as they are taking up room in our garage.

I slept in today because Mr. Tucker was off early to drop The Eldest off at band & then to the car appointment. Not having our morning coffee & convo to look forward to, I rolled over and went back to sleep. I often forget that I am retired and I don’t have to get up if I don’t want to!

Off to read! Happy Thursday to all who celebrate!