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Emergencies are easier with money

Emergencies are easier with money


If you haven’t watched Big Mouth, do yourself a solid and get on it STAT!

We knew that our car needed a new battery. Mr. Tucker was told this in the fall when we had the winter tires put on. He had planned to do it at the end of January when we were due to get the oil changed (this is what they call “foreshadowing”). So neither of us were shocked when it hit -35c this past weekend and the battery died on the car. Of course, we figured this out when Mr. Tucker headed out to warm up the car before taking The Youngest to roller derby but at least it gave him enough time to call a cab and get her there.

As he sat in the gym with a lukewarm coffee and his kindle, I suggested that since he was in the south end anyway that he should just rent a car from the airport (pro tip: in general, airports always have the cheapest prices on rentals). So he did just that and then ran the errands he wanted to while he waited for derby to be finished.

Renting the car meant that we could get The Youngest to her snowboarding job the next morning as well as get The Eldest and I to our skiing (her volunteering and me participating) commitment on Sunday. Without even blinking, I just thought, “throw money at the problem.”

You know what’s nice? Being able to throw money at the problem. I remember that there was a time in my life where a dead battery would have been devastating for me. Not only could I not afford to rent a car but I also probably would have not had the money to spend on fixing the battery. I would have just thrown it on credit and paid a premium to do so. Instead, we dropped The Eldest and her friend off on Monday morning at school (it’s exams this week), jumped the car with our rechargeable car battery jumper (everyone should have one of these), brought the car in, and then Mr. Tucker and I hit a diner for a hot breakfast date. As luck would have it, the car was done within the hour and so we nabbed it and dropped the rental off, swinging by on our way back to The Eldest’s school as she was finished writing her exam. It was all serendipitous timing and we were home by noon.

I am just so grateful that we are in a place in our lives where we don’t even have to think twice about spending money to make our lives easier. It’s so freeing to not have to live on the edge and worry about how you are going to get everyone to the places they need to be. I just wanted to take a hot minute and be thankful for this and I never want to not be grateful that we’re in this place in our lives.

Just keep on keeping on

Just keep on keeping on

What I’m reading
Vanguard’s guide to retirement withdrawal strategies.

[E]very conversation takes place on two levels. The official conversation is represented by the words we are saying on whatever topic we are talking about. The actual conversations occur amid the ebb and flow of emotions that get transmitted as we talk. With every comment I am showing you respect or disrespect, making you feel a little safer or a little more threatened. The Essential Skills of Being Human.

Deep thoughts
When the kids came home last night the first thing they both said when they walked in the door (1/2 hour apart) is, “You’re dressed! What’s going on!?” UGH. I need to get out more. In my defense, it’s been a lot of bedrest for medical reasons and once that was done, Mr. Tucker had condo stuff to do in his spare time so all personal stuff was de-prioritized as we ended up in survival mode. But it’s time.

Still, I want my kids to remember having an active mother who go out as much as she could despite disability. In general, I feel like I am way more active than a lot of other disabled folks. Some it’s due to the severity of their disability and for some it’s just plain giving up. If I was a researcher I would study the health trajectories/outcomes of people who had a positive, life-affirming attitude and those who give up once they’re diagnosed. I am happy to offer support, kind words and resources to people going through a rough time – sometimes you just need to complain to other people who understand what you are going through. But I’ve had to block individuals in online PLS groups because they were posting constantly about how awful they felt and how they can’t do anything and how all of their friends don’t want to hang out with them. It was a constant barrage of pity-party posts and it just exhausted me and brought me down. I think perhaps these people should reflect on whether or not it was disability that turned people off or if it was the constant complaining?

But truth be told, while I have experienced some of that, most of my good friendships got stronger after I was diagnosed. Sure, some people will always fall by the wayside but it’s difficult to tease out how much of that is just a natural progression in friendship and what is an inability to manage someone’s diagnosis. I keep showing up for them and in turn they keep showing up for me.

But back to last night’s astute observation by my kids. If I’m honest, pre-pandemic I went to the gym 3-5 days a week, did dragon boat, walked or biked around the neighbourhood more and did physiotherapy twice a week. Since then, I haven’t been back to my usual activity levels and my return to dragon boat was thwarted by my broken foot followed by a huge pelvic surgery (that went a bit sideways). It feels like since we have been back post-pandemic with some regularity, it’s been one thing after another. Having said that, I am determined to change that even as we head into winter. I think I have been focusing too much on what I can’t do and not really focusing on what I can. In other words, while I am not whinging about it on facebook, I am falling into the same trap of the people who constantly complain. I need to show up for me.

Next weekend is pretty social with games night and heading out for dinner with friends on Friday night. The following weekend is book club. These things remind me that I am still doing things but I am just not back up to the level I once was. I plan to change that.

What I’m up to
Mr. Tucker is at the condo today as the appliances have been delivered. He sent me a picture and they look FANTASTIC! He also replaced the vent covers, replaced the shower curtainrod and now he’s putting the doors back on and measuring a few things. The last things we need to do are: fix the window, install the microwave, replace the bathroom fixture and replace a curtain on the closet.

It finally feels like we are in the home stretch and are almost ready to put it on the market!

Oh, and as for last night: we went out to buy paint for the room switch! The Eldest is moving into the office downstairs and Mr. Tucker is moving the office upstairs. He plans to do most of the painting next weekend as it is American Thanksgiving and it’s super slow at work. That will leave him energy to paint at night. Then on the weekend, we will move her stuff downstairs. Damn, it will be good to be able to have a shared office again. I have a desk tucked into a corner of the living room and quite frankly – it sucks.

Since we’ve also used almost none of our pocket money this month, afterwards we treated the kids to dinner. It was a pretty lovely evening and it felt good to be out.

Bon Vindredi à tous!