Extreme minimalism
Oh well, whatever, nevermind
Hypernormalization
“It’s easy to feel like: ‘Oh, I’m in community because I’m on TikTok,’” she says. But genuine community is about “getting outside and talking to your neighbor and knowing that there’s someone out there that can help you if something really bad goes down,” she says.
“You’re actually out there talking to people, working with people and realizing there are so many good people in the world, too, and maybe feeling less isolated than before,” says Hartmann.
Systems are crumbling – but daily life continues. The dissonance is real.
The best time to make friends is before you need them
Behold! Our super useful rain barrel!
Mr. Tucker and I had an old friend and his new partner over for a BBQ and swimming over the long weekend. When I left social media I started to reach out to folks that I wanted to see but hadn’t seen in a really long time [1]. So after a month of trying to solidify plans, we finally nailed out a Saturday that worked for all of us. Sadly, it was cold and rainy that day but we still got to hang out, eat and play games. It was a good night.
When catching up with people you haven’t seen in awhile, the questions always run from “what have you been doing all of these years?” to “so what do you do with your free time now?” But what was interesting about my friend is that he answered the second question with, “I dunno. I go to work. I come home. I nap. I hang out. I go to bed. On the weekends you just clean and do chores and then it’s back to work. I’m too tired to do much else.” It just struck me as incredibly sad probably because he sounded a bit sad about it. Of course, when I asked followup questions he clearly did other things! They shared a love of eating out, and playing games, and they have animals they adore. It was just the absolutely depressing way he answered the original question that stuck with me.
It stuck with me because I have been there, too.
It’s so easy to fall into a rut. Work + commuting + personal care + household chores can easily eat into every moment of the day so that it is easier to just flop in front of electronics for the evening and passively consume content. Toss children & their activities into the mix and it feels like the time you have for friends is less than zero…
When I was 14 we moved in with my grandmother. She had been raised in a vibrant French Canadian community in Lowertown. Every one knew everyone, and every holiday saw friends and family cramming into the house all day long. Families back then lived inter-generationally because things were expensive (and predates socialized health care). When she married my Irish grandfather, he was going to university and working, so he moved into her family home with her. A few years after my mother was born, they moved to their own apartment across the street. Apparently my great-grandmother cried because she thought she’d never see them! After my grandfather graduated, they did what all people did in the 50s: they bought a house in the suburbs. My great-grandmother cried again: they were moving to the end of the world! It must have seemed like it, a street car came about a 15-minute walk away – and it was the end of the line.
When people romanticize the mid-century era, I see it as the beginning of where things started to crumble for community. For my grandmother, it certainly was. My grandfather apparently found her loud, French-Canadian family embarrassing and wanted to distance himself from them as much as possible. I can’t blame him for that, really. Raised by a widow who had left Ireland for opportunity, she was determined that ALL five of her children (including the girls – scandal!) would be university educated and successful (they were). So part of that was blending into the WASP culture that surrounded them and meeting the milestones of success for that era (they did). Meanwhile, the speed of progress was progressing and the urban planners tore through Lowertown removing its streets, demolishing its houses, rerouting the veins of the community. Many families who had been there for generations scattered out of the downtown core.
I don’t think my grandmother ever felt she fit into her new life and she failed to make many friends in their new neighbourhood. Once my uncle went to school, she asked her husband if she could go back to work for something to do. She was bored, and for someone who had worked since she was a pre-teen, it was strange to be bored. She picked up a job at a local perfume factory during the day and still managed to be home in time to make dinner. She kept all the money from this job in a savings account because my grandfather gave her money to run the house with. There is a funny family story about how she really wanted a garage built where the carport was. My grandfather apparently said, “I can’t afford that!” to which she responded, “But I can!” He was shocked at how much she had saved from what he considered to be her little hobby job. She got her garage.
Sadly, she lost her father in 1971 and in 1974 she lost her mother and her husband in the same year. The perfume factory also shut down and she didn’t go back to work again. Previously, my grandparents had been devout Catholics but she gave up going to church at this point, apparently saying that she was angry at God for taking husband away from her at such a young age. He was 54.
I would be born a year later and a few years after, my brother came along. My parents split up soon after that and my grandmother pinch hit for child rearing for much of my childhood. I remember that she had a couple of friends that she played BINGO with or with whom she would spend the day with at the racetrack. But people move and people pass away and soon she had no one but family. Then, when my brother and I were old enough, we didn’t need her either. She stopped coming to the house to take care of us and just stayed home. We saw her on weekends and holidays…until we had to move in with her.
I loved my grandmother and was extremely close with her but I don’t think moving in with her was the best thing we could have done FOR her (although financially, I know we had no other option). Soon after we moved in she started drinking more, she stopped leaving the house and she stopped doing the basics of personal care. My mom did everything she needed done: cooked, cleaned, paid the bills, got money out for her etc. I was the one who introduced her to dial-a-bottle, so that is on me, to be fair. But she became a recluse whose agoraphobia limited her to leaving the house about once a year to walk to the end of the driveway and back.
She died in my first year of university and it felt like a huge wake up call for me: I, too, had been struggling with making friends. At her funeral I imagined what my life would be like if I continued like this. Many of my friends had left the city for university, I had a relationship that focused on his friends – who I lost when it ended – and I was surrounded by a lot of acquaintances but few friends. The final years of my grandmother’s life hung like a fog over me but I swore I would make the effort. It took me awhile to find my footing but eventually I did make friends – and continued to make friends – all throughout my life. I am very grateful for that.
But I tell this (long) tale for two reasons:
1 – My grandmother’s life is not exceptional. She basically woke up one day and realized that it was all gone. Her relationships slowly eroded for the same reasons all of ours do: time, geography, responsibilities, child-rearing, exhaustion, death. It was easier to drink beer and watch game shows. These are all things we can relate to.
2 – Your relationships require care and feeding. When my kids were born our main friend group was all child free (or child-grown) adults with professional jobs for the most part[2]. I was a SAHM and Mr. Tucker worked insane hours. At the time, our friends were out doing things that were way out of our budget BUT we always made an effort to go to the house parties and the milestone events. We also made a bunch of new friends with people who had kids. It was nice to have events where the parents could just have a drink and not worry about our kids running wild (because they also let their kids run wild!).
Relationships also ebb and flow and it’s ok to let some people go[3]. But it’s not ok to let everyone go – even when you are at your busiest – because some day you will wake up and everyone will be gone.
This is why my friend’s words struck me so deeply: he clearly enjoyed getting together, he was interested in reviving some of his hobbies but he just hadn’t gotten around to it. Life had gotten away from him. But I was really happy to see him and to catch up. Maybe we will only be able to get together once or twice a year – and that’s ok! But it was nice to connect – not just interact with him as text on a screen. Had our conversation played out over our phones, I probably wouldn’t have noted anything about the words, “I dunno. I go to work. I come home. I nap. I hang out. I go to bed. On the weekends you just clean and do chores and then it’s back to work. I’m too tired to do much else.” and I probably would have just replied, “Haha no kidding, I feel that friend!” But so much more communication happens in person and with someone’s body language and facial expressions. Getting together with people is important.
I know since the pandemic a lot of life has moved online and we all know its to our detriment. But even before the pandemic an acquaintance of mine who does psychology research tried to run an experiment to compare elderly people – those who had a close group of friends and those who had few or no friends. He had planned to study the effects of loneliness. He ended up having to scrap the entire study because he couldn’t find enough older people to be in the control group! So many of us are living without friends.
I came across this documentary about the cost of living crisis in the UK. It’s older but the themes are the same. Ostensibly, it is about lack of money amongst pensioners but the thing that stood out for me was just how lonely these folks are. One woman had only two people knock on her door in the 35 years she lived in her apartment. One man laid out his last will and testament before he went to sleep each night in case they found his body because he had no one to give the responsibility to.
Like my grandmother, they got lonely slowly over a period of time and then suddenly: no one.
Multiple think pieces have been written on this. But the reality is, introvert or an extrovert: we all need to be social because humans are social creatures. We have different tolerance levels of socialization but we all need to interact with people, in person. Whoever tells you otherwise has shares in Meta. For some people it may be once a week and for others every day. I can’t determine that level for you. But you need it.
But the thing is: I have hope. I find people are making more plans again to get out and do things, even taking walks. I am the parent of two teenagers and I find that this year there have been more sleepovers, more hangout dinners & movie nights, more weekend conventions and more bowling with friends. They just enjoy being in each others company. Sure, they have group chats and Discord but overall I have definitely noticed an uptick in social events since September.
The kids are alright, and they’re touching grass. We all need to touch grass.
[1] I want to see everyone, maybe even you!
[2] No word of a lie. Every time I read an article on this subject I absolutely cannot relate to it. But tell the bees has a great piece on it. Actually, his stuff is phenomenal so go enjoy.
[3] When I left social media it was also a good time to leave some people behind. SM is insidious in the fact that it keeps friendships that would have waned naturally still at the forefront. This is not a BAD thing about people I have animosity or negativity towards! It’s just that I feel that there are seasons to some friendships and sometimes if you let go, they come back to you later. Sometimes they just go. A wane is a normal, neutral thing that SM unnaturally keeps glued together.
Life is lifing
Poutine. Hockey. The Charge made the playoffs!
We opened the Puddle early this year hoping to avoid the most popular dates, which are often unavailable and leave us with a late opening. When we open it later on, we struggle to get the water clear in the warmer days. Then it’s a race against time for getting it up and running for the Youngest’s birthday, which coincides with the long weekend. So Mr. Tucker is out getting the chemicals balanced and cleaning filters on this gorgeous spring day. Since the backyard is essentially our only summer vacation plan it will be fun to get it cleaned up, the garden planted and the pool ready for family and friends.
Tax season was – once again – exhausting. We are lucky to have someone who prepares our taxes for us but as usual: I owed, Mr. Tucker got a refund. It worked out fine except that this year I have to pay quarterly tax instalments because I owed over $3000. Just a reminder for folks on CPP (including CPP-D and OAS) that taxes are *not* taken at the source, so if you have other forms of income during the tax year, you could end up owing. A lot of the complications of this tax year were from the condo rental. Even though I had a loss on the unit, it was still a lot of paper work.
The time in between the end of skiing/snowboarding to the middle of May is the calmest time in the school year. It’s basically the time the kids apply for summer jobs. The Eldest is going back to work for the city & the Youngest got herself a volunteer position with the library. Both positions had extensive interviews and so hopefully between camp/volunteering the Youngest will have a busy summer. We did apply for some jobs for her but we were a bit late and it doesn’t look like that will happen. The Eldest is working on her driver’s license as well, so hopefully she will get that this spring.
I continue to…not spend that much time online? My group chats are hopping and I am so grateful to have kept in contact with a bunch of folks. My brain is much calmer for it as well. Mr. Tucker has started doing Muay Thai twice a week and we are trying to head out for a walk every day (trike for me). I also started doing physiotherapy in January and it’s helped a lot. I am struggling to keep up with my home exercises but that is just plain laziness on my part. When I do them I find my mobility and strength increases exponentially but I still tend to drop the ball when things get busy. Dragon boat starts up in two weeks – along with the chaos of end-of-the-year school activities – and then we are right into summer.
Canada elected a new government & we will see how that goes over the coming months. It’s been a brutal start to 2025 around the world politically. Although I’ve calmed down since the drama of the winter, the world still feels a bit fragile and chaotic.
But life goes on.
Everything is fast
Digital creep
I love these two ding dongs
So being off of facebook and Instagram was fine until things started going south…well, down south. I could not put down the news, I doubled the amount of blogs written by economists on my Feedly & I watched a lot more youtube videos than I ever had. Finally, I was finding myself on reddit a lot (and I don’t even have an account!). It was too much.
After days of having my nervous system on overdrive, I finally turned off the internet, put on a fire and started to tackle my backlog of shows and library books. I didn’t think more David Graeber is what I really needed at this moment in time, but maybe MORE David Graeber IS what I really need? I continue to work my way through his essays. Mr. Tucker and I are also watching our way through the seasons of Taskmaster that we’ve missed, and we’ve also started Son of a Critch (now with 100% more SURPRISE Malcolm McDowell). We aren’t TV people, but I feel like things that take you out of the current moment are a helpful and soothing balm from THE HORRORS.
At any rate, I have cleaned up my lists and plan to focus on just reading the newspaper every day instead of mainlining news sites and BlueSky all day. I am always surprised when I get digital creep, but I shouldn’t be. I find myself on autopilot for a few weeks adding more and more content to sift through every day until one day I realize that I am overwhelmed by content. I wake up, I scale back, rinse & repeat. I would love to say that I have come upon some magical system whereas I have discovered the ONE TRUE PATH to reclaiming your time back from digital creep but alas… I guess my advice comes down to just don’t “like and subscribe for more!”?
Generalizations and the chronically online white knight
I don’t want to get into the weeds about this much but here is today’s mini rant. Holy pope on a rope am I tired of folks being immobilized from taking ANY action at all because that action may be seen as imperfect.
I am using the Buy Canadian movement as an example because I have never seen so much hand wringing over what constitutes “Canadian” in my LIFE. Yes, for sure it would great if you could buy 100% Canadian from a company that is HQd in Canada, is listed on the TSX and who employs Canadians. But it isn’t very realistic. Firstly, we don’t have everything we need here – it’s a global economy; and secondly, most products are a combination of: sourced, made, packaged, cooked, designed in, supplied by, HQd in…etc.
I am very tired of coming across posts every day by martyrs hoping to lead us all down the road of salvation by eulogizing on the topic of inclusivity. They (rightly) point out that disabled folk, poor folk, newcomers, older folks etc. may not be able to fully commit to this movement because of limitations and barriers. But the thing is: no one is going after marginalized people! We instinctively know that not everyone is able to fully participate.
As a person who is disabled it absolutely infuriates me when someone white knights their way into using marginalized folks as a shield for their own behaviour. I know a lot of disabled folks. They were able to function before amazon and almost no one I know uses amazon at all because there are alternatives. Even if they are, no one cares that they are. Writing a post about how if amazon goes away it will harm disabled people is a red herring these people use to justify their own unwillingness to divest from their comfortable and easy purchasing decisions. What they are looking for is absolution and they are getting it by posting and seeing all the comments agreeing with them. But I am willing to bet that they’ve never advocated for more accessibility in their communities (ramps and door openers are a great start!) and probably use the disabled stall with regularity.[1]
This is not a treatise against advocating for marginalized communities. Au contraire, it’s a call to reflect on whether or not you are using marginalized folks to gain wider culture points or as a justification for your own choices. But generalizations exist for a reason and so when someone says, “Buy Canadian!” it is with the caveat that we all have limitations that others may not see. Perfection is the enemy of the good, after all.
Here she goes again…algorithms
But we aren’t good with generalizations anymore because if we don’t caveat every single minute possibility, it’s a feeding frenzy online. You can’t say the most neutral thing in the world like, “my favourite colour is red,” without someone screaming in the comments, “WHY DO YOU HATE BLUE!?” Then it goes viral and you are the baddie-de-jour. It’s the lowest common denominator of human interaction that allows zero grace for humans acting human.
Because the algorithms favour pile-ons, we get served up a lot of this viral content, which we react to, thus furthering the reach and influence of it. In turn, we have trained ourselves to be overly-cautious with our language so that we don’t anger – and we get rewarded by – complete strangers on the internet. So at the risk of inciting rage in others, our very basic, general post about liking the colour red now becomes, “I love all of the other colours but my preference is red – not that it’s better or worse than the other colours – it is just what, I personally, prefer.” I think also that goalposts are constantly shifting online not because it leads to bringing more people to your side but because once people become acclimated to certain rules in the in-group, the only way to peel away from the pack is to take more outlier behaviours and try and normalize them with new viral content. This new standard gets shared widely and those folks go viral and get more followers. This creates a new outsider group of people who aren’t terminally online & who didn’t know about the new thing. Voila: new people to pile onto! Rinse, repeat.
I am sure if you lean left you read the above paragraph as a condemnation of the left but also if you lean right, you’ve read that as a condemnation of the right. That’s how insidious this system is and why bad actors often chaotically post extreme content from both ends of the political spectrum: it works. It also pushes us further away from each other.
Interestingly, bots have latched onto this & a lot of creators are discovering if they do videos on, say, Russia/Ukraine, the whataboutism pile-ons start in the comments, “Forget Russia! What about Gaza? Isreal is the real monster here!” But people can care about multiple things so I dunno what to tell ya, bots. But I think it is telling that foreign interference agencies have discovered that we are motivated to change our opinions and methods of communication based on the bullying in comment sections, so why not step into that vacuum and create some fake drama? At the very least it will stir in some doubt (much like if you click your red ruby slippers three times and constantly post, “Ukraine invaded Russia” on Truth social, eventually some people will believe it).
Step back.
Assume that people are trying their best.
Ask yourself, “is this a positive and productive post/comment I am making?”
Be clear with what your intended goal is in posting/commenting.
Give grace. We’re all at different stages of our journey.[2]
[1] there is usually only one disabled stall in a public bathroom and you should always leave it for disabled folks, if you can. If there is a line up, please allow people who need the accessible stall (or in the case of someone who needs to change a baby because often the station is in there) be next in line for it. If you are able-bodied you usually have the choice of many, and we only have the one. Also, some people require urgent access to a bathroom due to the nature of their disabilities.
[2] There was a time when I was a chronically online edgelord but I have really cleaned up my act since the pandemic. It’s ok to change, even if it is only marginally better, that’s still better. There is a post probably in here about how most progressive men often find me exhausting due to sexism but they will claim it is because I am too opinionated/abrasive. Ironically, it’s never the men in that social group who are considered obnoxious even though they often spout similar commentary (or in some cases, repeat/steal what I have said to much kudos).
Elbow’s Up Mac’n’Cheese
I know that Canada loves its KD but amid all of the discussions as to what constitutes a “Canadian product” and what doesn’t, the core issue remains: boxed macaroni and cheese is just not very good.
Seriously – stick with me folks – I am about to treat you to the easiest macaroni and cheese dish that will make you forget the blue box entirely. If you buy pre-shredded cheese, it can easily take less than 15 minutes – including boiling time. It has the same amount of steps and ingredients but is much, much better for you and a lot more creamier and tastier. Let’s giver!
Elbow’s Up Mac’n’Cheese
320 grams of elbow macaroni/
1 can (354 millilitres) of Evaporated milk (NOT condensed!)*
320 grams of shredded cheese (I prefer Extra Old for a bolder flavour)
salt
* In a medium saucepan, place the macaroni and water with just enough water to cover it (maybe 1cm over the macaroni). Add the salt to taste (you can always adjust later) and bring the pot to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring periodically so the pasta doesn’t stick. The water should be fairly cloudy to indicate that the starches are swimming around the water.
* When the water boils down a bit and the pasta is almost cooked, turn down the burner to medium-low and add your can of evaporated milk. Stir to combine evenly.
* While constantly stirring, add the cheese in batches until it is fully melted. I like to separate the cheese into 3 or 4 piles and add them in one-at-a-time until they are fully incorporated/melted and then add another pile until all of the cheese is creamy and mixed right in. Make sure your pot is on low enough at this point so that your cheese doesn’t separate.
Makes 8 small servings or 4 dinner portions.
I do love this stuff right out of the pot but sometimes I will steam some broccoli or boil some frozen peas to get some great stuff in. Naturally, it also goes great with cut up cooked hot dogs and ketchup as well.
* Want to know what brands are Canadian? Check out these links for Evaporated milk or Cheddar.
The people’s radio
The Broligarchs
I was up late last night reading Down and Out in Paris and London by George Orwell. Known mostly for his dystopian novel, 1984 I think both are still pretty relevant today. Maybe a little TOO relevant…
I had requested Down & Out months ago from the library (it is still popular! and profoundly racist! Caveat emptor!) and only received it recently. It was written in 1933 which is the same year that Hitler’s Nazi party came to power. It’s also the year that they created and started to sell the Volksempfanger, or as it is known in English: the People’s radio. When the Nazis came to power, not many people could afford a radio. After WWI Germany was devastated and inflation and unemployment rampant throughout the Weimar Republic years. Cleverly, Goebbels orchestrated the creation of a low-cost radio that ordinary Germans could afford. It was a smashing success: by 1941 some 65% of households owned one.
Sure, it had some shortcomings such as it had trouble with shortwave transmissions and it had trouble picking up weak signals but it was a small price to pay for its purpose: spreading the message of Aryan/Nazi ideals and nationalism through music, operas and plays. It also played soundbites of Hitler’s speeches and messaging set to music. Their genius was in the fact that the Nazi party didn’t have to play ads during films or manipulate the news (although they did that as well) in the hopes that Germans would buy a paper or pay to see a film. Instead, it was the ultimate communication tool: streaming their propaganda straight into people’s homes as entertainment. Their goal was to make “every national comrade a radio listener.” It worked.
The state of…
It’s not hard to think of social media as being the defining medium of the current era. A few Broligarchs own almost all of the SM sites and have essentially co-opted the communities we’ve created online. As someone who actually built a career as a Social Media Manager I knew it was absolutely possible to manipulate and advertise your way into the public’s heads but I think I lived in a dream world for a long time where I thought people would be logical and not believe the more outrageous things that floated around. Boy was I wrong.
First, they came for our grandparents: I spent a lot of time explaining to older folks that they should check their sources and verify before sharing content. Then they came for our parents: the 2016 US election was what really sent me over the edge. We had pizza gate fueled by support for QAnon and allowed to explode on 4-Chan and 8-Chan (and other platforms). Then it came to light that we were being manipulated with the Cambridge Analytica scandal. At this point I had been diagnosed and was struggling with my own personal future so I didn’t pay as much attention to it as I should have. The writing was on the wall: the world was becoming increasingly fractured, and we were being syphoned into our own silos by algorithms, which even the social media companies didn’t understand completely.
By January 6th, 2021 it was no longer possible to ignore the man behind the curtain. Social media had created these monstrous groups of people who truly believed some of the most outlandish conspiracy theories imaginable. Two years before the Broligarchs had testified before the US congress, promised better content review, and banned what they considered “bad actors.” The reality is though that what we were seeing was only self-preservation. They wrung their perfectly manicured hands and pretended to “do something” when nothing was really done. Trump was banned from twitter & facebook and life went on. But below the surface, all was not well. Trump started Truth social in retaliation for being banned from the big boy’s playpen, and anti-lockdown and anti-mask protests were signal-boosted by algorithms everywhere. Misinformation was rampant and it still is today.
”Most of the comments here are Russian bots” – Reddit every day
While Canadians are heading to the polls sometime this year, CSEC is warning that we very well could have election interference.
I think one of the things people don’t really understand about bad actors is that their intention is to destabilize. So in that respect, both the left and right are right: they’re both are being targeted. The goal of destabilizing a country is to see which side riots first, and they don’t care which one. Foreign interference is about stirring division, so whatever whips the commentariat into a frenzy is the thing they’ll focus on. They’re great at using AI to create emotional images with fake information to get their content shared far and wide. I’ve seen entire websites dedicated to propaganda articles and designed to look like a legitimate source when it’s just a content farm for social media to give fake news an air of authenticity. SM companies have done very little to manage the bad actors whether it is in comment sections or meme groups. Eyeballs and engagement mean more money for them, so why should they care?
The Gilded Age
I keep seeing comments & articles such as The Gilded Age is Back! and it isn’t difficult to argue with that take. Wealth disparity is larger than ever and I would argue that the US election was bought and sold with a little *wink wink* *nudge nudge* from the Broligarchs and other titans of business (and of course, our old Pal Russia).
It’s interesting to read Orwell’s Down & Out right now considering he was out there slumming it in Paris when there was high unemployment and poverty in between the two world wars. He wrote a book about it right as the Great Depression swept across Europe*. There are eerie similarities from the end of WWI and the Russian Revolution to today: a pandemic, hyperinflation and political strife leading to mass immigration. It would be hard to also look at the recent fall of the stock market and see the tariff threats (wax on, wax off) and not compare it to that era. But getting back to Europe a century ago: the US called in its loans with their banking collapse, the German banks couldn’t pay. This caused a domino effect to other countries such as Britain and France who also defaulted on their loans. This then lead to Smoot-Hawley (also a disaster)…and I think you can see why people think we are in a similar cycle now (I make no predictions myself).
Economic uncertainty seems to be a vacuum that people want a strongman to fill. The rise to fascism was of course guided quite readily by this uncertainty and leaders who were all too happy to break treaties and point fingers at groups they could blame. To be clear: Hitler made and broke many deals while many countries in Europe ignored it until Germany invaded Poland and it couldn’t be ignored anymore. Enter, “the war to end all wars.” I don’t think the takeaway here is that there is ever an exact replica of an era but also that there are always themes and we should ignore those themes at our own peril.
If you tell a lie long enough, it becomes truth
On September 30, 1939 – 6 years after the Germany people had access to the Volksempfanger – the radio waves in Germany announced a Polish attack. Naturally, Hitler took to the airwaves and announced that they would retaliate, and the invasion of Poland began. It didn’t matter that the attack was a lie: he who controls the medium, controls the message. The German people, for the most part, believed what they were told.
We need to take a long, hard look at ourselves and realize that these platforms we are addicted to our the modern day People’s Radio: we are isolated in our homes consuming infotainment where we now rarely see posts from our friends and communities who we actually follow, but we are instead fed meme rage bait and advertising. I know I am a broken record but enragement is engagement and the algorithms will feed you content based less on what/who you follow and more on what keeps you scrolling. By staying on these platforms you are simultaneously making money for Broligarchs AND training the algorithms to know how to keep you more addicted. I don’t use the word addicted lightly either: these spaces are designed to make you feel like you are engaging in a community while simultaneously making you feel unfulfilled and empty, while still craving the real human need for connection. Dopamine jolt after dopamine jolt feels good for awhile but once you get off of the merry-go-round and take a breath you know that it does make you feel awful deep down in your core.
The impact of social media cannot be understated, either. It’s slowly destroying democracy. Repetition of the most popular content is making blatant lies feel true and now with AI, these regurgitation machines can create photos that look so real that it adds legitimacy to posts from random people who we don’t even know but that are constantly served up to us as we scroll. Like, share, and comment is all that needs to be done with a few clicks to continue the wave of bullshit.
If you think I am just talking about one side of the political spectrum, you’d be wrong. I’ve managed to piss people off all along the continuum! GO ME! A rule of thumb that I have had for a while now is that if something feels extremely GOOD (I agree with it) or extremely BAD (it makes me angry) it is worth a deeper dive. Often, I discover that the meme or post is lacking in context, excludes important information or is a straight up lie. Because there is so much noise online most people will just reshare whatever feels right to them. But that’s not how you get informed or cut through the bullshit. Worse, people REALLY dislike when you challenge things because we are so polarized that it feels like a personal attack to some folks.
I divested from the Meta properties at the beginning of the year and quite frankly, it’s done me a world of good. I am still on Bluesky but I don’t have the app on my phone, so I have to go over to a desktop to consume it. Staying off my phone has helped me hop off of the 24-7 rage machine.
I was worried about missing the connection with friends but honestly, I am still very much connected to the people I want to stay in touch with. As a bonus my life has gotten MONUMENTALLY BETTER. Instead of a faucet of misery I carry around in my pocket to drown myself in over-stimulation, I’m trying to do other things. The disconnection from 600+ people has also been a huge boon to my mental state: I am reading a lot more, doing more personal writing, working on more art and watching more good shows. I find it easier to disentangle myself from the digital world because I am never fully enmeshed in it. As a result, I am a much calmer person.
But the best thing about not getting almost all of my news from social media is that I have to seek it out. It’s a little more difficult but worth it. A few things I have changed:
I went to political party websites: during the last provincial election I spent some time sifting through the party platforms and researching candidates. I will do the same for the upcoming federal election as well. I have very little interest in seeing attack ads online or sloganeering (#BlessThisAdBlocker).
I read the paper like an old person: I am not going to pretend like individual journalists don’t have their own bias but I have decided to stick with The Globe and Mail. Why? Well as Goldilocks said, “it is just right.” The Globe and Mail has me agreeing with it as much as it has me angry with it which means that it is doing its job. Also, anything owned by Postmedia (ie: most of Canada’s news) is owned by an American hedge fund. No thanks. I don’t need more conservative billionaires to tell me how to think (I am looking at you, Washington Post & LA Times). While I do love CBC for local stuff, it’s pretty beige for news. As for independent media I haven’t found one particularly unbiased source as they tend to skew super hard left or right. I do think The Walrus covers some great longread topics fairly neutrally as well.
No more Meta (or twitter but I killed that in 2018): no more facebook, no more Instagram and definitely no threads (ew). If you haven’t read The Chaos Machine, I definitely recommend it. It is basically a book on the real dangers of social media. This week a new book came out called Careless People written by an ex-employee at Meta. facebook is running around desperately trying to suppress coverage of it. Because that is a totally normal thing for people who haven’t done anything wrong to do, right?
No more google: I have moved 100% over to Firefox and use Duck-Duck-Go as my search engine (although I hear good things about Ecosia). I am in the process of moving my mail as well (but it is taking longer). I am sick of being tracked by google constantly. Search is so bad now that even if you put in the right parameters, you still get a page of ads. Want to buy from a specific store? SORRY! Best google can do is a list of dropshippers on amazon.
No more apple: whomp, whomp. This is more of an issue with their products going from top end to absolute garbage in the last 15 years. I also don’t like being tied down to an ecosystem so I am moving shortly to a Pixel phone with GrapheneOS (but that is a longer and more involved story).
Other entertainment: bye Netflix! Hello CBC Gem! Bye Spotify! Hello Quboz! I don’t want to pay companies who have shady business practices or who donate to things that go against my values. I sent an e-transfer to a creator I love last week and in return she hooked me up with a free substack subscription to her content. Substack is an absolute menace and I refuse to give them a penny of my cash (use ghost or beehiv, folks!).
Fundamentally, we get trapped into using platforms because competition gets pushed out and they lock us in. That was literally the goal of so many venture capitalist “disrupters” of the last decade. The capital kept pouring in and these companies would sell things at a loss so that no competition could get a foothold in that business. Uber and Lyft were both jousting to be the last one standing and when they were, the plan was to jack up prices and finally turn a profit. It’s bonkers! It’s the same playbook Walmart has used to grow its empire: open in small towns, decimate the local economy, be the last business for miles and make the entire community reliant on them for jobs and sundries (but not taxes, they never pay taxes).
Everything feels like it is narrowing into fewer options with a handful of owners. The White House has eliminated press passes for many media outlets, opting instead to only allow journalists who are sympathetic to the regime and who will be more likely to print their outlandish lies version of events. Even Pierre Poilievre’s team announced today that they would not be allowing journalists to travel the campaign trail with them, which is a break from what has historically happened (I will let you decide if their reasons are good ones).
Controlling the narrative has always been a goal of good PR but there is a line between convincing someone to see you in a favourable light and stifling opposing viewpoints to boost your own propaganda. I think the worse part of all of this is that we’ve done this to ourselves: we stay on platforms that we know harbour criminals and who do nothing to stop it. We go there knowing that misinformation is rampant and dissenting voices are suppressed. We know these companies have stoked violence and do little to stop harassment. These companies go against everything we stand for as people but yet we go and scroll for the memes, convincing ourselves that it is the only thing that keeps us connected because “everyone is there.”
At the Nuremberg trials famed Nazi Albert Speer said, “Hitler’s dictatorship differed in one fundamental point from all its predecessors in history. His was the first dictatorship in the present period of modern technical development, a dictatorship which made the complete use of all technical means for domination of its own country. Through technical devices like the radio and loudspeaker, 80 million people were deprived of independent thought. It was thereby possible to subject them to the will of one man.”
We say we want to save democracy but we can’t even stay off of twitter/Meta or cancel amazon Prime. It’s such an embarrassing low bar but yet, here we are. Enjoy your Volksempfanger.
* I cannot stop thinking about what happened to the men he wrote about in his book. What happened to them?