We paid off the mortgage!

We paid off the mortgage!


Mr. Tucker opening the door of our home the day we got the keys

Our plan has always been to pay off the mortgage as soon as possible. Partially, it was because Mr. Tucker said that he would feel more comfortable with the guaranteed payoff but also as the prime rate got higher and higher it just made sense. We were set to renew for another term this September and we knew we wouldn’t get that sweet 2% interest that we’ve had for the past six years. So we rolled up our sleeves, didn’t take a vacation this winter, and we funneled every extra cent into savings.

Yesterday, Mr. Tucker walked into the bank, handed them a cheque, and walked out with our payout and discharge noted. He felt great.

Eyes are going to roll if I bring up the rent vs. own debate here and drill down into the financial quagmire of it all. Honestly, people who are smarter than me have done a great job of discussing the nitty gritty. What I am going to do though is discuss my own thought process because as a disabled person I feel like that changes a lot of my decision making. So let’s go for it:

Renting isn’t throwing your money away: that’s like saying that we shouldn’t eat because some of it lands in the sewage system. Shelter – like food – is a need, and you need to have shelter. Many of my friends rent and it suits them just fine because they don’t have to deal with the hassle of home ownership. But that brings me to the untold story about renting…

A lot of my friends who rent are either well off or very poor: let’s face it, the buy vs. rent debate can only really happen for people who have the privilege to make the choice. My rich friends rent because the premium on their time and money is important to them and my poor friends rent because they have absolutely zero choice in the matter.

During the pandemic when housing prices exploded, I saw friends get evicted because their landlords sold their properties. In our province, your rent is controlled under certain circumstances so if you live somewhere a long time your rent will be much lower than current market rents. But in a situation where home prices and rents start soaring, you risk eviction into a high-priced market. If you have a good income you probably will be mildly irritated but if you are a low wage worker or you are on disability, your options are very, very limited. Since we have a housing crisis in Canada right now being a low-income renter must be terrifying. Renovictions and other sneaky tactics are at an all time high and they can take years to resolve with the Landlord-Tenant Board. I think the stress would break me.

Disabled people also tend to be poorer and being poor can sometimes mean bad credit or no credit. Getting a rental without a credit check is really difficult in 2023.

Finding an accessible rental is near impossible: when you are able bodied and have money, you have a world of options. You can rent a small shithole and save a fortune. When you are a wheelchair-user, for example, you need more room and more accommodations within the house from shorter counters to handrails and benches in a roll-in shower. More room costs more money and few landlords would pay to renovate a current space. Your options are generally subsidized or co-op housing but that could mean years on a waitlist.

Even for disabled people who have the money to buy a home, the costs can quickly spiral. Developers are generally not keen to change things even if you bought a condo from plan, which means you will be on the hook for renovations to make it habitable. If you buy a pre-owned home, renovations generally are needed too.

Why don’t you just move to a lower cost of living area!?: this is decent advice for people who have the option but for someone like me who has a bunch of specialists who know my needs, accessing health care in another area may not be as easy. For those of us who spent years getting a diagnosis and who have built solid relationships with their care team won’t want to risk having to restart the process in a new area and risk getting a care team that doesn’t suit our needs. For example, a friend of mine with a heart condition has considered moving to the country but right now he is an 8 minute drive from the Heart Institute. Would you risk not having the care you needed in a crisis?

Which brings us to the fact that most hospitals and specialists tend to be concentrated in urban centres of large cities that are accessible by public transit. Most disabled people use some sort of public transit to get around as private hires can be costly and the options are limited.

I like to give my kids stability: I have read some stories about how people moved around a lot as kids and were fine with it. I am glad they had a positive experience or a higher purpose that made it worthwhile. I had to move thrice as a kid and I hated it. I really wished for some kind of stability in my life. When we moved to our current home, the Youngest struggled a lot as well. They had a really hard time adjusting and were really upset about moving.

Of course, things happen and there are myriad reasons that families are forced to move – both negative and positive. But it was a priority for Mr. Tucker and I to give our kids a home and so we made that happen. If something happens to Mr. Tucker and I am left with the kids in our bungalow, I can manage because…

We make continuous accessibility improvements: when it became harder and harder for me to step into the tub, we installed an accessible tub. Because our backyard has a lot of steps, we hired a carpenter to build ramps. As the years go on we don’t know how mobility will be because everyone with PLS is different. So as owners, we can adjust our home as necessary and…

We get tax credits related to accessibility improvements: so when we do renovate to make our home more user friendly for me, we do get some tax credits for it.


If the housing crisis continues, we can renovate for our kids: the vacancy rate is under 2% and the average one-bedroom condo is renting for $2000 a month in our city. Who knows what the future holds as we bring many new (much needed!) immigrants into the country over the next few years? I suspect that it will get worse before it gets better and that housing prices won’t see a drop but more of a stagnation or small increase.

On our property we could theoretically renovate our basement to put in a two-bedroom apartment as well as build a coach house in the backyard. If our kids needed a place to go, we could do that. If we found ourselves suddenly needing more income, we could rent out some space. I like the idea that we have a property that gives us options. Or, if need be we could always…

Sell the house if we need money someday: I don’t like the saying, “My house is the best investment I have ever made!” Because most of the time the people who say it will admit that it is usually one of the only investments they have ever made. Having said that, it is still worth something. While I wanted a home to put down roots and raise a family the time may come when I am forced to move on and selling our home may end up paying for Long Term Care.

We were lucky in the fact that we were able to save for our kid’s education, Mr. Tucker’s RRSPs AND were able to still pay off the house. The flip side of that is that I know folks who wanted the stability of a home to raise their families but didn’t have much in the way of other savings after that because their salaries were so much lower. People also may be risk adverse (often, we forget that not everyone is as interested in this stuff as we are). So they get the stability of raising a family for many years, paying off their mortgage as they go along and when it comes time to retire, they sell the home and use that as their retirement money.

Sure, it may not be the best option for the finance nerds who optimize every penny but the reality is that most people aren’t optimizers looking for ways to eek out a percentage point more from their investments. They like safe bets* and paying off a mortgage is a safe bet to them.

I think rent vs. own comes down to your own personal priorities and preferences (if you have options). I always find these conversations about GOOD vs. BAD disingenuous because as we all know: personal finance is personal. Also – and as much as the FinBros think it doesn’t – feelings matter! You need to be comfortable with your decision and be able to sleep at night.

For Mr. Tucker he really, really, really wanted to pay off the house and so we worked on that even though for the majority of the time we saved, we would have made way more on an index fund. In retrospect with the prime rate being so high it was a smart move to not have to renew in September at an exorbitant rate but we didn’t have a crystal ball: it was a decision made purely because it worked for us.


Home, sweet home


*I am definitely not entertaining the “bUt It iSn’T rEaLlY, lOoK aT mY dEtAiLeD sPrEaDsHeEt…” Yes, inflation is a thing. Yes, they could probably make more in an index fund but if they WON’T do that because human psychology being human psychology, this is at least something.

Money lessons, learned?

Money lessons, learned?

As a parent, as you raise your kids you just have to cross your fingers and hope that they got the lessons and will apply the teachings to their lives. You know that not everything will stick and you also know that some things have to be experienced, not just told to you. It’s a lot of work for not knowing the outcome.

Since the eldest has started her first job, we’ve done our best to give her financial advice in a way that isn’t too finger-wagging but that still encourages her to plan for saving and future spending. She luckily was given three permanent guaranteed shifts, three days a week, or 25 hours. It’s a perfect way to start your first job, in my opinion. Since she’s started though, she’s realized that she can also pick up MORE shifts and that MORE shifts means MORE money. So she got out a calculator to figure out how many shifts a week she could reasonably work. Bless her heart!

Also, because the city has had such a hard time hiring and retaining staff, they’ve also changed their NO OVERTIME policy and are allowing the wading pool attendants to get time and a half for every hour worked over 44 hours. So the eldest got her calculator out again and figured out how much she could make in a week.


Off to her first day of work

Of course, I don’t want my 15-year-old to work over 44 hours a week but I think the process is valuable. It makes her calculate – and evaluate – how much time she wants to trade for money. I think she also thought that her friends would be around much more than they have been this summer. Many of them have cottages or have gone on trips so her off time is generally spent playing video games & staying home. I think that is what has prompted her to pick up as many shifts as she can: she really wants to save enough to spend during the school year, when her friends are around and they want to go out and do things.

I would be lying if it didn’t warm my cold, goth heart when she called me into her room to tell me about the financial plan she had worked out based on a theoretical amount of shifts she can pick up over the next 5 weeks. She had stuck to my 50% long term savings, 25% short term savings for the school year and the 25% spend now plan! I was super proud of her even though I only said she had to put X amount into long term savings – she decided on her own to save more!

Of course, I did tell her that she should take her first pay and spend it all, as a treat for getting her first job. She ended up getting paid and taking her sister to the mall with her so she could pick up a few things. Sure, she spent money on things that I thought were useless but we all spend in ways that other people wouldn’t! She also kindly bought her sister a cute sweater.

What I found telling though is that the eldest also decided to buy them both lunch at the food court while they were there. When she got home with her spoils she confided in her dad and I, “I wish I hadn’t bought the fast food. It was $30 – two hours of work – and it wasn’t even that good! Oh well.”

Lesson learned, indeed.

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

This year we didn’t go away in winter, instead we saved our money in order to pay off our house (which we will do in September). So naturally, I spent most of the winter looking forward to the summer when I could spend most of my days in our gorgeous backyard swimming, gardening and enjoying the sun. I was also looking forward to getting back into Dragon Boat as I hadn’t been back since the pandemic.

Man plans, god laughs

The youngest child also joined a Dragon Boat team this year and we both spent Saturday of the Dragon Boat Festival racing, enjoying the company of our friends, cheering on other teams and eating fun food. We went home Saturday night and had a lovely sleep after a big day with an early start.

Sunday morning was already looking dicey with the wildfires but we headed off in a friend’s car under the glowing red ball that was the sun. I am kicking myself in retrospect but instead of changing into a pair of sneakers, I just kept my slide-on Crocs on. I should have taken the 2 minutes to change but I was eager to get to the tent and grab a coffee. We walked in the gates & I started towards the beach. Unfortunately, the grass/sand mixture was horribly uneven and I managed to clip my foot on a tree root and despite trying to catch myself, I managed to seriously hurt my foot, which started to swell immediately.

My teammates witnessed this, rushed over, got me a chair and an ice pack and a friend headed over to the first aid tent to grab one of the First Aid volunteers from the ski patrol. He came, determined there was nothing he could do and soon after I found myself whisked off to the hospital.

Poor Mr. Tucker: with the youngest and I off to the ODBF and the eldest off at a sleepover, he was really looking forward to a day to himself doing music and playing video games. Sadly, he had just sat down with a cup of coffee when I texted him to meet me at the hospital. I felt terrible.

Thankfully, we didn’t wait long to be seen and an x-ray, a CT scan and a stand-up x-ray later (REALLY? That was just mean). It was determined that I had a hairline fracture in my foot so it’s an air cast and 5-6 weeks off of my feet. A follow-up appointment with orthopedics the Wednesday of that week also saw a hairline fracture in my fibula. “You’re really great at breaking things,” said the orthopedic doc. Oh am I ever! The advice was the same for both fractures: stay off it for a bit over a month.

Teetering on the edge

The next morning Mr. Tucker went out and rented me a wheelchair which I have now essentially lived in for a month as I gaze longingly at my pool from inside the house. I would be lying if I said it has been an easy month of healing and binge watching bad tv. Instead, Mr. Tucker has now had to ferry the kids around to work and camps as well as manage day-to-day things such as meals and helping me in/out from the wheelchair. He had originally booked off two weeks in July so that we could get a bunch of house stuff done but that has been significantly railroaded by my injury.

He was cranky, I was cranky, we both feel cheated out of the summer we were looking forward to.

Going with the flow

As a distraction from all of the absolute CARP that descended upon us, I tried distracting myself in the following ways, all of which are working in some capacity:

Booking a winter trip: I contacted a local travel agent that specializes in accessible travel and started looking at a trip for March break. My life is a constant battle against the kid’s school schedules, money limitations and how my mobility is going. We’ve decided to splurge and just go on an all-inclusive trip this winter. We are still ironing out the details but it’s been a lovely distraction from having my summer being taken away from me by my injury.

Mr. Tucker and I sat down and did a financial plan – together: usually I create the plan and we sit down and discuss it. But I felt like a lot of it didn’t feel real to him and were just a bunch of numbers on a page. So we sat down with a clean spreadsheet and worked through our numbers together. It was a great exercise for him to actually help create the plan and see for himself how we can plot things for his retirement. He told me that this process made him feel a lot better about all of the bad luck. We also are both really excited about our goals!

Mr. Tucker finished the vacation chores: because things were absolutely bonkers, tasks that should have been organized and done on his vacation did not get done and he was feeling overwhelmed. So he enlisted the children and pretty much got almost all of the outdoor chores done, which allowed him to relax for the second week of his vacation.

I gave myself time and space to make a decision: …about dragon boat. In the end, I gave my seat in the boat up to a friend who is an amazing paddler and I switched myself to being a spare, if needed. I just needed someone who could commit to the team for the next festival and even if I did the full 6 weeks, it would only be two practices before I had to compete. It’s not great for the team so it just made more sense to give up my spot.

I discovered Task Master: which is a hilarious show where comedians compete against each other by doing silly things for dumb prizes. If you need to sink yourself into something hilarious and low stakes, I highly recommend it.

It’s still just horrible luck and I have another week or two until I can walk with any regularity. BUT on a positive note, I will still have a lot of August to enjoy the pool and the garden is producing quite well right now. I will still probably be able to get a couple of paddles in, and Mr. Tucker and I have been buoyed by our new goals. Life throws you curveballs and it can be super difficult to navigate them sometimes but eventually good things will happen, just wait and see.

Did the 4% rule work if a Canadian retired in 2000?

Did the 4% rule work if a Canadian retired in 2000?

I love this article from the Globe and Mail (sorry kids! Sub only!But please sub to at least one Canadian paper and one magazine a year to support homegrown content /soapbox) but here is what I think the most important takeaway is:

The bursting of the internet bubble provided a real-time test of Mr. Bergen’s “4 per cent rule,” which brings me to the hypothetical Canadian investor who started their retirement at the end of August, 2000. They began with a $1,000,000 portfolio. Half was invested for growth in the S&P/TSX Composite Index while the other half was invested for income in the S&P Canada Aggregate Bond Index.

The investor took $3,333.33 out of the portfolio to live on at the end of each month (a 4-per-cent initial annual withdrawal rate) with the payments being stepped up each month to adjust for inflation. (The figures herein are based on monthly data with reinvested distributions, but they do not include fund fees, taxes or other trading costs. The portfolios were rebalanced monthly.)



(Yeah, the 5% seems to be missing)

This is absolutely great news — unless you were that 6% guy. Ouch!

Underground home and orchard in Fresno

Underground home and orchard in Fresno

I have always been fascinated with alternative living, especially alternative housing. I’ve spent many years and many hours watching Kirsten Dirksen’s videos from around the world but this one struck me as prescient given how climate change is currently burning up many forests in Canada. Maybe looking at how people have lived in harsh climates is something we should start to consider. From the video:

“During the California heat wave of 1906, Baldasare Forestiere dug a home underground with just a pickax and shovel. He spent 40 years excavating 10 acres of rooms, tunnels, a chapel, an underground aquarium, and courtyards to experiment with underground farming.

With no budget, he mixed mortar from the dirt he dug out, creating his own concrete and bricks. Despite continuing to work as a day laborer during the day (mostly digging irrigation ditches), by the 1920s, he had completed about 50 subterranean rooms.

A Sicilian immigrant to Fresno, California, Forestiere had planned to farm citrus until discovering that his 80 acres of “hardpan” soil were unusable for planting. Digging as far as 20 feet below the surface, Forestiere reached depths where the soil was good, and his trees were protected from Fresno’s extreme summer heat and winter frosts. After about 20 years of digging and underground farming, he could quit his day job and live off the fruits of his subterranean orchards.

Despite having just a fourth-grade education and no architectural training, Forestiere – inspired by the catacombs of Rome – built arches for support, and to this day, none of his underground construction has collapsed. In areas where he wanted more natural cooling (like near stoves), he created cone-shaped openings to encourage the venturi effect, pushing the hot air out and sucking the cooler air down.

His underground home had a kitchen with a wood-burning stove, an ice box and a dining room, winter and summer bedrooms, many skylights, a subterranean fish pond, a car garage for guests, and a three-floor aquarium with an underground glass viewing area. He had plans to open an underground resort to the public as a place to cool off in the summer, but he died before it was completed. His brother and family took over the site, and today it’s open to the public.

Forestiere Underground Gardens: https://undergroundgardens.com/”

My kid got her first job

My kid got her first job

Mr. Tucker and I both had pretty shitty first jobs. He worked in a camp for a stipend (which is really a volunteer position) when he was a teen but his first “real job” was in fast food. My first job was at 13 at a downtown restaurant with a takeout counter. When I was 14 I switched to working as an overnight busser on weekends. It was one of the two only restaurants that were open 24 hours so since I worked the weekends it was…not ok. Although the late 80s and early 90s were a different time, looking back on it an underage kid should not have been exposed to so many drunk people and their inability to keep their hands to themselves. Mr. Tucker also worked in a west-end fast food place after the bars closed and it was challenging in similar ways, mostly fights.

While I truly believe that everyone should work a shitty, low-paying job at least once in their life, I don’t necessarily think that should be your first job out of the gate. In fact, I think my most hated job (next to the ONE day I did telemarketing) was in a big box craft store* (yes, that one).

So when it came to the eldest, I decided to stack the deck in her favour. Because she loves skiing so much and has aged out of the lessons, she took her first ski instructor course this winter – and passed! So now she is a certified Level I Ski Instructor and she hopes to get hired at a local hill next season. I had also heard that the city was looking to fill a bunch of lifeguarding jobs, so she started down that path last fall. At 15, she now has her Bronze Medallion and Standard First Aid with CPR-C. This got her an interview – and a subsequent job offer – to work for the city this summer! Although I saw that you didn’t need experience in anything, it did recommend that you have some lifeguarding training and SFA/CPR was a requirement.

The eldest is blasé when it comes to continuing lifeguarding courses but at the very least what she does have has helped her get a job where she gets to spend all day out in the fresh air all summer. It’s also a job where there aren’t early mornings/late nights and it is more family-oriented (which doesn’t mean NO challenges but certainly reduces the potential to be around drunk, handsy people). She will also be placed in our general area of the city, which means she can probably bike to work which will also be great exercise.

My goal for both of the children is to get them to 16, pay for Driver’s Ed, pay for them to get their driver’s license and then set them freeeeeeeeeeeeeee to pay for the things they want after that**, by which I mean no more allowance.

I did sit the eldest down and drew her this fine sketch:


Behold! My incredible art skills make charts come to life!

I then told her that her first week of pay should be one of celebration: celebrate getting your first job and spend a week’s worth of earnings on buying things that she wants. But after that, it’s time to buckle down. I suggested that she budget:

50% to long term savings: this amount will go into a high-interest savings account for when she is unemployed or if she is in university and needs money to go out, buy herself things etc. Also, she knows that we have enough for a local school but if she chooses to go away for university she will probably have to chip in.

25% to long term spending: this is the money she can put in a savings account for the fall when she is in between jobs but still wants to go out and hang out with friends. Essentially, she will need to spread this amount over 4 months from September to December until she is working again in the winter. It’s basically teaching her to budget & monitor her spending so that she doesn’t run out of money.

25% to short term spending: this is the amount that she can spend free and clear every pay without having to worry.

In this example, I gave the example of a $500 paycheque to illustrate how she would divvy it up.

Do I anticipate that this will go 100% smoothly? I do not. BUT she at least has a game plan in mind and a goal to try and achieve when the stakes are relatively low. I feel like teenagers are kind of the perfect audience for this kind of budget teaching: they will test the waters and (most likely) find themselves coming up short. But they will learn the lesson and take it with them all through their financial journey. Like anyone, they will need to actually experience the highs and lows of money management until they figure what works for them. All you can do as a parent is teach the lesson, give them encouragement and support (not judgement) and hope that remember the lesson when they need it the most – when the stakes are higher.

She is eager to work as many hours as she can this summer but we will see what happens. Either way, it’s another milestone on the way to adulthood!


Filling out the ubiquitous onboarding forms – get used to this, kid


*I should have known that they’d be awful when “training” consisted of watching an anti-union video. They consistently understaffed and overworked people and the final straw for me was when they scheduled me at the same time that I had requested off to take a university exam. I walked out.

**Clearly we will still pay for clothes, food, shelter, education etc.

Optomizer vs Satisfier

Optomizer vs Satisfier


Here I am satisfying my need to consume university-priced pitchers at a local brewery last night at book club. It was a $20 night out, which never happens!

I am not an Optimizer. Granted, I LOOOOOOVE reading blogs that get into the weeds with detailed tax, investment and savings strategies but I am not that person. I enjoy a rousing debate and when personal finance keeners bring out the calculators and start fighting, I make some popcorn and watch. But I am not that person.

I don’t budget down to every penny. I don’t know the asset allocation of every ETF available on the market. I just see which ones have the average allocations that represent the markets/indexes/regions I want (and the fees I don’t) and then I push the BUY button. I know that this makes some people deeply, deeply uncomfortable.

But here is the thing: I know SO MANY PEOPLE who just walk into a bank/sign up for a salesperson to take 1% of their money (whether they are good at making YOU money or not) and then they just wipe their hands and walk away. They feel confident that a “professional” is taking care of their money when they are truly getting scammed.

Conversely, I know people who are DOING NOTHING. Scared of the stock market, they let their cash accumulate in accounts where their cash is being slowly eroded by inflation. Even sticking that into a 5% GIC would be at least doing something that would at least be stemming the hemorrhage of your buying power to inflation.

Both of these kinds of people are doing the exact same thing: they don’t trust themselves enough to learn the basics and they are scared that they will lose everything. So they make the most inefficient decisions possible because it feels comfortable.

Don’t get me wrong, I think money psychology is super important. You have to make decisions that help you sleep at night. But I feel like you can only make those decisions if you have all of the facts and oftentimes people don’t. They try and play it safe because they don’t know (or don’t want to learn) the basics of how to invest and in the process they allow themselves to fall victim to a predatory financial sales community or lose their money as it gets eroded by inflation over time. Sure, it may feel good to be stagnant and/or ignorant today but what this means is that you will lose your access to a secure or even bountiful retirement. The longer you wait, the more you lose.

People often get the impression that I know the ins-and-out of the stock market because I do enjoy discussing it, either in our Money Mondays group or with friends. But in reality I only really know how the basics work. And more controversially, I truly believe the following things:

1 – Most Financial Advisors don’t know more than you could learn on your own by reading a few books. Still scared? Get a fee-only FA. They are worth the money to help build you a plan without draining your nest egg.
2 – The average person doesn’t need to know much more than the basics of the stock market (although, I do recommend they learn as much as possible!).
3 – Inflation is like losing money every year. We tend to feel good psychologically if our $100000 stays at $100000 from one year to the next. But, realistically you can only buy $97000 worth of goods this year with that money when inflation is at 3%. That’s actually a $3000 loss that you don’t see.

Things that you do need to know:
1 – Invest regularly, preferably you can set it up to automatically fund your accounts and then forget it(ish).
2 – How ETFs/Index funds (and maybe even Robo-Advisors) work.
3 – Know what tax shelters are available to you in your country and learn how to use them (ie: retirement accounts)
4 – Only look at your accounts once a year.

Some people are on the cusp of having a coronary just reading that. But I am not an Optimizer, I am a Satisfier. I am satisfied to point myself in the right direction and then hobble down that road. I am not sprinting to some ridiculous goal of making my bajillions on stock tips, I am looking to make a decent decision (buying the index for an average return) while minimizing my losses (fees, inflation). The average return of the S&P is 11+% (1957-2021) and the average return of the TSX is 9+% between (1960-2020). So logic dictates what Jack Bogel introduced to the world: if you buy the entire thing as an index fund, your returns will follow the market.

Of course, I am simplifying things (and nothing works out 100% of the time) but that is the beauty of it: it’s that simple! You don’t need through reams of company reports and a deep knowledge of how every company you buy works. You just need to know that you are heading down a road that even when it gets winding and rocky (when the average return is down, like last year) will eventually take you to where you are going. As a satisfier, that is good enough for me. You give up huge gains for steady growth and the ability to sleep at night.

I do my budget the exact same way. I lay out all of the mandatory things (bills, savings) and set it up to come out of my account as much as I can. Whatever is leftover is mine to do with what I want. I don’t do a zero-budget where every single penny has to be allocated like an Optimizer would. Being a Satisfier, I just have to be concerned about my obligations and then the rest is mine to toss around. Of course, I am frugal in many ways (how does a green bean know that it is a generic vs name brand green bean?) and that allows me to save more in my day-to-day life on things I don’t care about. But that means I can just allocate more to my more expensive habits, like travel.

“BuT tUcKeR, aRe YoU sAyInG pEoPlE sHoUlD bUy InVeStMeNtS tHeY dOn’T uNdErStAnd?”

No. I am saying that they only need to know the basics, not become experts*. Historically, over time, the stock market always goes up**. If the bottom falls out of the entire economy, we won’t even have to worry about our investments because we will need to grab our leather thongs and fire guitars and wander out into the Mad Max desert.

If you are still worried, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE read JL Collins’ book, The Simple Path to Wealth which will give you more info to change your life than any other book out there.

*I am not a Financial Planner nor do I play one on tv. Quite frankly, they’re probably acting too.
**It doesn’t mean it always will in the future but again: we’ll have bigger problems if it comes to that…

The shocking realization you’ve reached your goals

The shocking realization you’ve reached your goals

Tax season brought us a huge refund which we will use to payoff the mortgage

I realized this week that some personal finance adages are true. I suppose that I always knew this intellectually but I managed to say this out loud (and by “out loud” I really mean, “in a Signal chat”) this week and once I said it, the weight of what I had accomplished came into sharp focus.

So let’s start at the beginning.

Mr. Tucker’s work was recently acquired by another company. This required him to sign a whole new slew of legal documents, some of which were a bit unclear. Fortunately for me though, I have a friend who is an incredibly brilliant employment lawyer who is licensed to practice in Ontario AND in California. Those are two very challenging jurisdictions to get licensed in (and she has a ton of experience with tech companies) so clearly, the woman is a GD genius. Luckily for me, she is also a lovely friend who read all of Mr. Tucker’s new documents before he signed them.

When all was said and done, she asked me about how things were looking for him at work, personally…and that’s when I took stock and realized that … IT DOESN’T MATTER! We are finally at a point in our lives that while it would be shitty, a layoff wouldn’t decimate our finances.

Having her ask that question made me go through our accounts and made me realize the following:

– Our mortgage will be paid off by July (two months before schedule!). The house is currently worth high 6 figures.
– Mr. Tucker’s retirement accounts will meet our target by the end of 2023.
– Any layoff would result in a severance enough to carry us through to the end of the year.
– The kid’s RESPs are currently funded enough to get them a 4-year undergrad degree + books at a local university. We’re still funding it but even if we stopped putting money in it today, they’d still be fine!
– We are currently mostly living off my income, which is private disability insurance indexed to inflation until I am 65.
– I have a small pension + lifetime benefits (Mr. Tucker would get half of it should I die as well as half of my CPP and the kids would get an orphan’s benefit as well until they are out of school).
– On top of regular tax shelters, I also have an RDSP which gives me 100% return on investment via government grants until I am 49 (and can grow tax-free in investments until I am 59).
– Should either of us pass away, we have sufficient life insurance and investments to carry the surviving spouse and the children.
– We have a secondary property that is currently rented to a family member at-cost but that has a mortgage on it at around 1/3rd of its value.

When I wrote all of this in a message I realized quickly that even though I had spent some time worrying about the company acquisition, there really is nothing to worry about. While we wouldn’t be living high on the hog, the decisions we made have been good ones.


We do a monthly game night with friends but for Easter we decorated eggs

So, those true adages? Consistency does beat intensity AND time in the market beats market timing. Let’s look at one example, our kid’s education savings accounts:

Consistency beats intensity
I didn’t end up opening an RESP until my eldest was around 3 (12 years ago). Up until 2020 we could only afford to fund it to the tune of $80 a month ($40 each) because we had a pretty high child support payment and I stayed at home with the kids until the eldest was 4.

But what we did do when they were younger was that we asked family members to give us money for their RESPs instead of buying gifts for various holidays. So for about 5 or 6 years (until they wanted to spend their birthday & Christmas money), we were able to throw in an extra $150 twice a year for their education.

Time in the market beats timing the market
When I go back and look at what we put in vs what we actually have, we see an almost 40% increase over the last 12ish years (investments + grants – so 20% each) in the original accounts (we do still fund these with the same $80 monthly).

Conversely, we also started a new RESP in 2020 using a Robo-advisor because we wanted to play catchup on our contributions and get the grants for previous years. In those 40 months we have seen a 24.6% return in that account – 20% of which is grants, so really we have only made 4.62% on our money since 2020. Not bad (but not great) considering how awful it’s been.

So even though we have been putting more away every month the long game has paid off in spades when you look at the return. We also aren’t done yet, I will continue to put money into the account until we run out of grants available to each kid AND it will also compound for at least another 3 years.

No matter what the market does, we just continue to fund our registered accounts. Dip in the market? Fund it monthly. Market overvalued? Fund it monthly. I just cannot be bothered to think about these things and even through it may or may not be the most perfect way, dollar cost averaging has often been my long term strategy. I used this strategy because it was easier to set up our budget and make savings come out of our accounts every month like a bill rather than have to constantly think about it.


Spring chorin’ has begun

Hoisted by my own petard
I was saying to Mr. Tucker the other night that while we intellectually know that we make good money and have assets, we sometimes feel a bit like money is tight. The reality is though is that we have structured our budget to feed money into two kinds of goals. Regular goals such as putting money away to buy a car with cash every 10 years, education savings, emergency savings etc. Then we also have stretch goals, which is basically saving almost everything Mr. Tucker makes into vacations, retirement accounts and paying off our house early.

So we feel poor sometimes when I have to say, “No, sorry, we are out of pocket money this month so we can’t have take out.” Because really, we live off of a bit over what a median household income is in Canada. But we don’t actually ever have to make really hard decisions, so it’s all in our heads and is guided by our goals. The things we end up denying ourselves is junk food, more subscription services or weird baubles at the dollar store. We don’t deny ourselves the things we really enjoy, such as travel and going to concerts. The kids also have all sorts of cool lessons and activities. But this is self-restriction for a higher goal. We’re actively making choices to deny ourselves shit we don’t really need in order to reach…well, apparently we’ve pretty much reached it…OUR LONG TERM GOALS.

It’s just absolutely wild to me that we can see the finish line after years of just putting in the effort. Of course, Mr. Tucker still wants to work until the end of 2024 but it is nice to know that we have a backup plan should things go south.

It’s so funny that one little question from my friend would lead to such a heavy weight being lifted off of me. But here we are!


Another fine book club was had

The Wordle is my love language

The Wordle is my love language

I am in a group chat with some of my oldest and dearest friends. We all met in our early 20s thanks to the internet & a friend who had a 200 acre farm in eastern Ontario. I was a relatively early adopter of the internet in 1994 (with my wee 2400 baud modem), when I was 18. It wasn’t that I was particularly good at computers but that everyone else around me was. My farm-dwelling friend had a local BBS and frequented Usenet where she had met all of these other like-minded people.

In the mid-90s she decided to start something called The Freak Family Picnic where she invited all of her internet friends to descend on the farm for a weekend for camping, bonfires, games etc. People came from all over the US and Canada – and pre-9/11, a guy even flew his plane into the local airport. In the end, she hosted a summer Solstice FFP open to everyone and a winter Solstice FFP that was only open to close friends. For years, this was our twice-yearly ritual and of the core group of people, almost no one missed coming.

Sadly, all good things come to an end and the end of the FFP was abrupt and traumatizing. My friend moved away from the farm, got remarried, traveled the world and is now settled in upstate New York. Happily, the core group of people from that time still remain friends to this day even though many of us have moved states, provinces and even continents. Bless you, internet.

When I medically retired from my job in social media I started to pull back and cull my SM accounts but I still wanted to keep in touch with friends. So we all downloaded Signal and started a group chat with 3 other friends who I’ve stayed close to since the FFP days. The timing for this couldn’t have been better: soon after the group chat ramped up, the pandemic set in.

During the pandemic our group chat was a lifeline. We also had our weekly Trivial Pursuit nights and finally last year we were all able converge in Denver for an in-person visit, which is the closest we really got to the “middle” of where we all lived considering we are in Mountainview, CA; Philadelphia, PA; Denver, CO and I am up here in Canada. It was a great visit and we had all missed each other a lot.

I think that outside of my family, I speak to these three other people daily, even if it is only to share our Wordle score. I’ve slowly come to learn that our Wordle score is our love language. Some days we talk all day long, some days we don’t chat at all but almost always without fail, we always share our Wordle score. It’s become a low-stakes stand in for us to say to each other: hey, I am here. I am alive. We’re connected.

I suppose I didn’t really appreciate this connection until recently when we had a power outage. Of course, when mother nature shows you that human technology is no match for her power, it’s always an adjustment. Sitting eating dinner by lamplight I realized just how amazing it was that some of the closest people in my life could be scattered across two countries and coasts. I realized that even that small connection of doing the Wordle daily left a big hole when I didn’t have it in my life.

We’ve talked a lot about what relationships and social activities look like in a post pandemic world. As a disabled person, this has been an ongoing conversation since even before 2020. In a world that isn’t exactly accessible, our social lives can become burdens as we navigate things no one else has to think about. Having been able-bodied previously, I absolutely understand what it is like to just grab your purse and run out the door to meet up with friends. Now, it is a question of making sure that a place is accessible, that the bathrooms aren’t downstairs, that there are hand railings for me to use. It is even more effort for people who are more disabled than I am.

So in one sense, the pandemic just made us all suddenly think about how interacting with others looks like when you actually have to stop and to think about safety. On the other hand, I think we all realized just how having 100% of our social lives online really is lacking. Much of our communication as humans is non-verbal: it’s about the contagious laughter, the look of sadness in a friend’s eyes, it’s about how being around others makes us feel. While words on a screen are a great way to stay connected, it isn’t the most fulfilling way.

So yes, the Wordle is my love language: it lets my friends know that I am here and that I am available to chat about things big and small. But conversely, the Wordle is no replacement for our get together in Denver last year. Words are important but so is being in the same room with friends. It’s about the dumb jokes, the weird thing that happened at the restaurant that we’ll still laugh at 20 years from now. It’s about the connections, shared meals, ridiculous travel stories.

I don’t know what the future will hold but as we edge further away from the worst of the pandemic, I find I crave the in-person company of my friends more and more. It seems that everyone is still in varying degrees of worry about the pandemic as well. Some people believe the worst is over and have gone on with their lives normally and some people are still terrified of catching it and worry about the long term effects. I don’t think there is an easy answer here. If anything, we should all be kind and accommodating to everyone’s needs. With summer on the horizon, I plan a bunch of social events that we can hold outside to ensure that everyone can feel included. Of course, for my local friends that continues to be at least an option. Even with our horrendously cold, dark, long winters spring always comes eventually.

But for my dearest old friends further out, I’ll keep sharing my Wordle score.


Saying goodbye after defeating Blucifer