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Author: Tucker

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

Well, I made it to Canada Day and we had a lovely BBQ and pool party with friends. It was the grand finale of a super busy period of our lives. Afterwards, we settled into a more chill summer vibe with The Eldest biking to her summer job everyday and hanging out with friends when she wasn’t working and The Youngest doing camp and hanging with friends when she wasn’t at camp. Mr. Tucker started biking to Muay Thai & I paddled twice a week leading up to the dragonboat festival in June (we won second place for the 200m in our category, thank you very much!). But life is not all roses and there was a horrible loss of one of The Youngest friend’s on the second-last day of school & it has cast a shadow over the summer as she works through the emotions that come with losing a friend.

I got overly-excited about an add-on for my CSA that added locally grown berries to our weekly order that I chose the largest sizes possible. I have made SO MUCH jam and have frozen SO MANY berries! Future me will appreciate it in the dead of winter when I can whip up some berry muffins with this summer’s berries. But today me sure cursed myself as I chopped fruit up and sterilized multiple jars.





July saw Mr. Tucker take two weeks off of paid work…to do work at home. We continue to clean out the dusty corners, repaint, organize and decorate the house in a more permanent way. While I felt increasingly unwell and exhausted, he got to work cleaning out closets, selling and donating things that we haven’t used or things the kids have outgrown. We also hosted a craft night for a friend’s birthday.



Sadly, the thing that was sapping me of my energy also landed me in the Emergency Room by the end of the month. Four hours later I was in surgery and I go back in on September 2nd for another surgical procedure (I am – for all intents and purposes – doing ok). I spent 4 days in the hospital covered in ice packs with a high fever that 1000mg of Tylenol (why don’t they just say 1 gram?) would barely touch. It was truly awful. The way I was raised guarantees that I will only go to the hospital when I am on death’s door. I gaslit myself so hard that it was all in my head that the doctors and nurses were horrified that I lived with so much pain for so long. I definitely was an absolute moron for not going sooner. Story of my life.

In August it was record wildfires and heatwaves. Friends stopped in to swim and escape the environmental catastrophe for a few hours. Judy[1] came up from California to visit & to do some recon (more on that at some point) and being able to see her and to have a fun swim party with the Cohens was an amazing way to catch up. Sadly, our tenant left on August 1st (but is paid until October). He was so great and I wish he had stayed longer. However, we will get the floors done in the condo and put it up for sale again hopefully by the end of the month. Cross all of your crossables that it sells quickly.

The Eldest passed her G2 driver test so now she can a> drive on her own, b> needs her own insurance. That little slice of heaven will cost more than what Mr. Tucker & I pay to insure both of us, together. We came to an agreement that she would pay part of her insurance (and any gas she uses) to get her used to the fact that car ownership is eye-wateringly expensive (this amount is proportional to her income as the point is to get her to appreciate and understand the responsibility, not to make her shoulder the exorbitant cost). She is only insured as a casual driver so I explained that she will rarely get the car but the idea is for her to build an insurance history so her rates go down. But, one at-fault accident and we pull the plug because her rates will double and that puts it out of the realm of affordability for us (and her – it would eat up 2/3rds of what she makes in a summer). She will continue to use the red and white limousine or her bicycle for most of her transportation needs.

The rest of the summer is all birthday parties and more dragon boat festivals.


We also headed to our local bike store to get tune-ups & to buy new helmets


…this is the bike store dog!


…and we had lunch dates

September is on our doorstep and the weather just turned from scorching to autumn this morning as the heatwave broke overnight. I woke up to some much-needed rain and when I got up I threw open all of the windows and the patio doors. The next couple of weeks will see the back-to-school chores begin: dental appointments, haircuts, and buying school supplies. The Eldest has a one week break between work and the start of the school year and we are going to spend it looking at post-secondary options so that she can redo her timetable if she needs to, depending on what programs she is looking at. She won’t be teaching skiing this winter, and instead will concentrate on school and getting her volunteer hours to graduate. I cannot believe she is already in grade 12. The days are long and the years are short, indeed.

[1]These are my Americans, get your own.

The Moving Past

The Moving Past

This CBC article brought The Moving Past website to my attention today. Created by historian David Sobel, I didn’t know that Canada was the first country to have government sponsored films, nor did I realize that we lost so many of them during WWII when they were melted down for their silver nitrate. Here is a short video about the project:



I’ve watched a few today and I have to say that Sobel’s choice to speed up the videos and add music for modern audiences was a clever one. They are incredibly watchable morality plays addressing the issues Canada faced 100 years ago. I especially love the absolute panic of women being alone in the big city and …GASP…going dancing in 3-inch heels! Don’t worry though, those wanton women get punished by…tuberculosis? Which you get not from bacteria but from an unhealthy lifestyle. Choose carefully, ladies.

Overall, this site is a charming way to spend a couple of hours if you find yourself needing a break from the horrors.

Is the age of Digital Nomads dying?

Is the age of Digital Nomads dying?

I had conflated digital nomadism with holidaying. But it turned out that working in a cafe was still working in a cafe, whether you are in a Starbucks in Swindon or a beach bar in Bali. I found myself resenting having to work when there was so much to explore…Perversely, many digital nomads end up doing a global tour of Starbucks. “It was the one place with reliable wifi[.]”

‘My mind was shrieking: “What am I doing?”’ – when the digital nomad dream turns sour

When we decided to stop travelling it was due to the cost vs. the enjoyment we got out of it. Our last foray into the DR was such a bust & we were so upset about the time, money and lack of actual relaxation that we just threw in the towel on international travel altogether. This also coincided with the fact that the Eldest is in her last two years of high school (aka: the ones that count for post-secondary acceptance) and the fact that she works 40 hour weeks in the summer. It made sense to pack it in.

Also, protests were erupting all over due to the conversions of rentals for locals into Airbnbs for tourists, and generally just the crowding that tourism brought to areas ill-equipped to deal with it. Protests in Spain continue, the Louvre shut its doors, and large cruises have been banned, restricted certain types of ships or have reduced docking in many European ports. You can’t blame them: revenge travel came out fast and furious post-pandemic causing many issues with these destinations bursting at the seams with entitled holidaymakers. Quality went down, tension and stress went up and so we just decided that it was a good time to just stay home. Of course, we still would usually visit friends in the US or Mr. Tucker would go on work trips but neither of us are very keen on a free trip to El Salvador (or even detained by ICE – 55 and counting! It’s insanity). I see some in-country road trips in our future but that may be about it.

I figure that we will travel again when the logistics and politics are figured out & when the kids are out of school. As soon as the Eldest graduates, the Youngest will be in her two final years of high school so we will be homebodies for the next three years. Luckily, home is really nice and we’ve reverted back to embracing the seasons like we did when we were younger (and poorer).

“Gradually, the idea of having a space that was mine, neighbours to get to know, regular exercise classes to attend and a coffee shop where they knew my name felt exciting. I had once laughed in the face of routine; now, I knew it was crucial if I wanted to build a life worth living.”

Being alone is great, loneliness is not

Being alone is great, loneliness is not

“If being, and doing things, alone is increasingly widespread – and stigma-free – then how to make the most of it? A couple of key factors everyone agrees on are finding a healthy balance between solo time and communing with others – and having the ability to choose solitude, rather than being forced to experience it. “The greatest indication of success in time alone is that a person has chosen that space believing that there is something important and meaningful there,” says Hansen, adding that solitude is a “neutral blob of sculpting clay; it can be whatever we mould it into”.

Fittingly, according to McGraw it’s perhaps best to not mould said blob into “lying in bed, vaping and ordering Uber Eats”. Rather, he suggests channelling alone time into creative pursuits and pastimes that tend to blossom in solitude; a walk or a run, people-watching at a cafe, going to a museum and “taking it all in, as fast or slow as you can”. Or how about “sitting in a bath listening to Vivaldi”, he adds more specifically, or taking an online course?”

How being alone can make you happier

Chaos is inevitable

Chaos is inevitable

June has felt like the Kool-Aid man of busy-ness has crashed through our lives. As we transition from the end of the school year and the activities that run from September-June, we also ramp up with summer job training and activities. The crossover has been super messy and some days we find ourselves out and about most of the day, just driving around.

I could spend time listing all of the things we do but realistically it’s a reasonable amount for two teens and two adults: Mr. Tucker and I both have one ongoing commitment and each kid has two ongoing commitments. But what happens when we have school crossover periods is that the end of the year ends up being more events than one reasonable calendar can hold. Since we all have social lives as well, it is one of the few times of the year where I wonder to myself, “should we get a second car?”

(The answer is no, no we should not. [1] What sounds like an easy solution would be a lot more time and money compared to the few times we may have to get a ride service to make an event. Although, I can see the appeal.)

Sometimes I will pop my head into online communities that focus on intentional or simple living. I don’t wade in too much since a lot of these spaces comprise of posts either asking people how-to live this way or posting some revelation that even the Greek philosophers wrote about 2000 years ago. In other words, it’s just low value to me when I have a shelf full of books that detail these things. But every once in awhile a post pops up that says something like, “WELP. I simplified my life and now I am bored.” When I see posts like that I scream in my head, “Too far! Too far!”

I think when people think of bringing balance to their lives, they think that somehow everything can be in equilibrium, always. But the reality is that balance often means switching priorities based on what is screaming the loudest and giving everything else the bare minimum. Currently, the Eldest has a bunch of training sessions for her summer job at a place that has crappy public transportation. So the priority is arranging our schedules to get her there and pick her up. Once her job starts she can bike to work so it will be up to her to manage that and we won’t be involved at all. But for now, it’s really thrown a wrench in our other scheduled activities. Mr. Tucker had to cancel a class this week because he just couldn’t be in two places at once. It happens. I am bailing on dragon boat this week because both children have activities that evening in the east and the west ends of the city and it made no sense to try and get me south so I can paddle. Some things just can’t be worked out.


The Eldest made this amazing tofu Tiki Masala & fresh Naan & quick pickled onions

We are pretty good at ensuring that we don’t fill the calendar up completely so that we still have space to eat dinner as a family & to keep some nights free. But it isn’t always going to work out so we have also accepted a couple of hellish weeks a year to strike a balance between doing nothing and doing the things we love. Next year it looks like the Youngest will be volunteering at the library right smack dab in the middle of roller derby practice. So it may be that she can only attend her extra-curricular sport every second week. She’s going to roll with it.

Sometimes it is also worth it to take advantage of opportunities that come only once in awhile even though you know you shouldn’t be adding anymore names to your dance card! My friend Susan was in town for a law conference last week and even though our weekend was bursting at the seams, making room for her to come and chill at our house last Saturday was an absolute gift. The last time I saw her was in Oakland in 2019! We caught up, ate a bunch of great food and my cheeks hurt from laughing so much. Since she divides her time between The Bay Area and Toronto, it’s rare that we are geographically co-located. So it was amazing to make that work. Who knows when I will see her in person next? Even though we chat online most days, being able to connect in person was incredible.

So while the chaos of too many things leads to burnout and resentment, the opposite can also be awful: discovering that you can only do nothing for so long & that you’re bored. A good balance is when you do a bunch of things that you enjoy that are bookended by periods where you have nothing to do and sometimes that may end up feeling like you have too much to do.

I suspect things will fall into a lazy summer rhythm after Canada Day. The Youngest will be at camp, the Eldest will be working and both of them will be hanging out with friends. Mr. Tucker will take a couple of weeks off of work and we will spend our days just floating around the pool interspersed with naps, reading books and making art.

Until then, we hustle through life getting much accomplished which will be a nice juxtaposition for when we just get to sit down, relax, and are able to enjoy doing a bunch of nothing.

[1] My father keeps saying that he wants to give us his old car when The Eldest gets her license but all I can think of is the compound costs of getting CAA, gas, insurance, maintenance, repairs, tires etc. The idea of the costs associated with a second car makes my eyes water. Still, not getting up to drive her to band practice at o’dark early may be worth it…