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Month: November 2025

Day talk/night talk

Day talk/night talk

Significance

Control of fire and the capacity for cooking led to major anatomical and residential changes for early humans, starting more than a million years ago. However, little is known about what transpired when the day was extended by firelight. Data from the Ju/’hoan hunter-gatherers of southern Africa show major differences between day and night talk. Day talk centered on practicalities and sanctioning gossip; firelit activities centered on conversations that evoked the imagination, helped people remember and understand others in their external networks, healed rifts of the day, and conveyed information about cultural institutions that generate regularity of behavior and corresponding trust. Appetites for firelit settings for intimate conversations and for evening stories remain with us today. (emphasis mine)

Embers of society: Firelight talk among the Ju/’hoansi Bushmen

Goodbye, Balconville

Goodbye, Balconville

If you have been here for awhile, you already know that I renovated a condo I own(ed) twice in the last 7 years, both times due to a relative absolutely mistreating the space. After the final renovation, we rented it out to a lovely couple who gave notice and moved on for work after a year of renting from us. Like I said, I never wanted to be a landlord and I lucked out with having great tenants (and I made a whopping $20 a month, so I wasn’t exactly a slumlord). After our tenants left though, we tried our hands at selling it again. We had the older floors ripped up and decided to go with polished concrete this time so keep with the loft look. I figured that the wood floors were harder to maintain as a rental so if we had to rent it again, it would be easier to go with a more durable floor choice.

We priced it low and surprisingly it sold a week after being on the market with a closing date at the end of that same month. What was interesting about the entire process of selling it was that it sucked out almost all of the nostalgia and goodwill I had towards Balconville. Despite having made some of the greatest memories from Mr. Tucker & I starting out our lives together in that space, it was apparent that it had become a burden. I wanted to close the door on that chapter of my life. Someone else can now make amazing memories in that space and enjoy what I believe is one of the better floorplans for a 1-bedroom condo in this city.

I don’t want to get into the nitty gritty of how stressful it was but it is done now and we are finally able to move on from that part of our lives. I am so glad that the process wasn’t drawn out – I don’t think I could have managed a prolonged closing. In the end, our tenant’s lease was up on September 30th, and the condo closed on October 31st.


The floors turned out beautifully. What a different a refresh makes!

For those of you who remember, this was the last thing on our list in order for Mr. Tucker to retire early. Not having the mortgage, condo fees, property taxes and insurance has been monumentally freeing for both of us. I think we both felt the weight lift from us as soon as we went in to sign the papers with the lawyer. We left the lawyer’s office feeling lighter and more free than we had felt in 7 years. It was the final thing we needed to do to move onto the last phase of our lives. We kept the memories but left the people who caused us so much pain behind. It was time to move on.

Of course, Mr. Tucker didn’t just waltz home and quit his job! He will work for as long as he can but his company has been circling the drain for a long time now and as they squeeze more out of employees layoff after layoff, it’s clear that the writing is on the wall. It’s nice to be in a position where we have options so he doesn’t have to take the first job that comes along because we are over-leveraged. So he will wait it out. He was one of the first people hired at that company and he says he wants to see it to the bitter conclusion.

In the end, we didn’t make bank on the sale of the condo. Essentially, I after all of the renovations we had to do, the closing costs, covering my butt for capital gains, putting some money away to top off our emergency fund, we had a wee bit left to put away for the children. But I’m not mad about it. The greatest thing about selling the condo was being able to take those expenses out of our budget and have the piece of mind that we don’t have to carry those costs should everything fall apart for us financially.

So au revoir Balconville! I will miss you but I don’t regret selling you.

I also imagine what my ancestors would think

I also imagine what my ancestors would think

“That the Wi-Fi stopped working the first night felt like a cosmic joke. You said you wanted to disconnect, I chided myself, panic rising in my throat as I uselessly refreshed a Chrome tab that stubbornly bore the same “No internet” message below a pixelated dinosaur. But wasn’t that the entire point? To avoid, as Jia Tolentino characterized it earlier this year, the ‘device that makes me feel like I am strapped flat to the board of an unreal present: the past has vanished, the future is inconceivable, and my eyes are clamped open to view the endlessly resupplied now?’

Burnout’s spin cycle in an age when one could theoretically be sustained by a nonstop parade of front-door deliveries of (truly) any conceivable desire is—how do I put this? — humiliating. I imagine some ancestor freshly arrived at Ellis Island, knee-deep in a slurry of animal remains inside a rancid meatpacking plant for 18 hours each day, being confronted with a discomfiting vision: It’s their distant progeny (me!) pacing around a climate-controlled apartment in sweatpants, mumbling about something called a podcast and bemoaning an endless barrage of electronic mail and voter registration and parking tickets and doctors who don’t know why you sporadically wake in the middle of the night to vomit, but it sounds like chronic stress. Would they get back on the boat, assessing that it wasn’t worth it after all to guarantee the future of such a weak-willed dilettante?”

– Katie Gatti Tassin, Babygirl, Girlbosses, and Economic Nostalgia

La plus ça change…

La plus ça change…

…plus c’est la même chose:

This video is 41 years old and we still have the same worries and fears today as when it was recorded. If you haven’t read Morgan Housel’s Same as Ever, I highly recommend it. It’s easy to think we are in unprecedented times but more likely we are in precedented times, just repeating themselves.