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Month: July 2024

Moving a lot in childhood contributes to depression

Moving a lot in childhood contributes to depression

I know that some people who are superfans of renting often will say that they moved a lot as kids and that they turned out just fine, thankyouverymuch. Having moved a couple of times myself as a kid and knowing how chaotic it felt to me, I never wanted to move my kids if I could help it. Sadly, we did end up having to move once and one of our kids really struggled with the change. It looks like moving a lot in childhood is associated with depression later in life – even if you move to a more affluent area.

The Puddle

The Puddle


Connell: not a swimmer

When we were in the process of buying a house, I knew I wanted either a> a pool; b> enough space to install a pool. Of course, anyone who heard me say this immediately clutched their pearls and screeched, “A pool isn’t a selling point for potential future buyers! What about property values?!”

To which I say: I do not give a flying f&%k about property values. This is my home. It is a safe place to live and raise my family. While it is theoretically an asset, I just see it as a roof over my head. A paid-off roof over my head, which is nice.

I know it is du rigeur to inflate ones’ net worth by counting it in as a part of a calculation – which makes sense – but it also gives me big, “statistics lie” vibes. I need somewhere to live, and for now this is the place I want to be. After all, I need to live somewhere*. Yes, it is an asset I can sell if I need to but it isn’t something that I plan to draw down – unlike my portfolio, which has future spending in mind. Of course, downsizing is always on the table for the future but even in that case I will probably still own property.

I know the pearls are being clutched even harder here so I will explain.

As I’ve mentioned previously, renting is a great idea if you have money and are able-bodied. Saving money on renting vs. owning is a very smart idea if you run the numbers and figure you can make more on investments. But I posit that people who are disabled and people who are very poor should own if they can. In the first case, there are very few accessible rentals available. In the second case, it is forced savings (if you stress test your situation well).

I know that sounds weird but if the pandemic has taught us anything it is that 30 years of shitty housing policy in this country has jacked up both rents and house prices well past the point where it can be safely only 30% of your income for many people. Even in my province people who have rent control of some sort are seeing inflated renovictions. Smalltime landlords found an amazing opportunity to sell off when housing prices boomed in 2022. This led to long-term tenants seeing themselves shuffled out as families bought these home to actually live in them, not to be landlords. During this period, rents also saw an explosion and a 1-bedroom apartment is now $2000 leaving many people with very few options.

If you have money, you can just brush off your knees and find the best option available, safe in the knowledge that all of those years of cheap rent have bolstered your portfolio. But if you are living on a fixed income or living near the poverty line, that limits your options substantially. If you are disabled you are probably the most screwed because there is such a lack of accessible housing that the availability of an accessible apartment is almost NIL.

Which brings us back to why I choose to own.

You know what else brings down property values? An accessible bathtub. Although it cost me $15000 to install it will bring down my property price if I go to sell. Again though: I have to live here! I installed it because I love baths and wanted to have the option to have one when I wanted to. I also have grab bars and ramps and other things that a landlord probably wouldn’t look to favourably at me installing in a rental.

So quite frankly, let’s just toss the pool into the fray of things that add IMMEASUREABLY to my quality of life that also bring my property values down. Because really, I don’t care. I want to enjoy my home, raise my family here, host pool parties here, and have a life full of memories here.

The naysayers will probably point out just how ridiculous it is to have a pool in Canada, where you can only have a pool open about 6 months of the year and only during 4 of those months is it nice enough to swim with any regularity. To those folks I say: wussies! You can swim anytime if you have enough fortitude! But also: you have a good point. If we are looking at things from a purely financial point of view, The Puddle costs me about $3000 a year to maintain (current year expenses + savings for when things break down). That makes it about $188 a week for the 4 truly swimmable months ($125 for the full 6). Many people would see that and balk because they don’t want the work and cost of maintaining an inground pool. That is fair. But you will take my Puddle away from my cold, dead hands.

Considering that I spent $13000 for a week at the world’s worst all-inclusive, swim-up room, “Diamond Club” hotel in March, The Puddle is a deal. I spent that week surrounded by crowds and had mediocre food and sad service (I also have a few pointers about how to maintain a pool properly). It was the least relaxing vacation we have ever had, and it made me realize just how wonderful having a backyard oasis really is!

The past week Mr. Tucker has been on vacation and it has been amazing. We have spent the day outside for a good 12 hours every day it wasn’t raining. We’re writing, we’re reading books, we’re drinking beers and just chilling out. Also, when we are in the pool we have complete privacy as no one can see us. I get up in the morning, toss on a bathing suit and a sundress, grab a coffee and my journal and head outside into the morning sun. It’s the perfect start to a summer day. The best part is that we can also play our own music at reasonable levels, as we are old people. Also, we get to share The Puddle with friends. We had about 40 people pop in for a Canada Day BBQ and we will do a crafting and swim night with friends next week. This year we even stuck a beer fridge outside so that we can access drinks and snacks easily.

Sure, I could live somewhere else, somewhere cheaper, somewhere less enjoyable and save a pile more cash. But I’ve done my time in cheap student apartments and while I am grateful for that experience & learning the skills to be able to live on very little, I don’t need to do that anymore. I am at the point in my life where I value having a stable home for my kids and an accessible bungalow for me (with a bathtub and a pool!) more than I value more money in the bank. There was a point in my life where I couldn’t imagine not wanting to travel every year. The last couple of trips have taught me that maybe staying home for a few years is perfectly ok. Maybe sometimes it’s good to just stop and appreciate where you are.

*Not necessarily here but selling a house is difficult; it’s a very illiquid asset. Yes, I could borrow against it, if need be.