Simple Living: wherever you go, there you are

Simple Living: wherever you go, there you are


If you didn’t live through the mid-90s, early aughts you have no idea the ABSOLUTE chokehold the “Idiot’s” and “Dummies” guides had on the culture

I gave up most social media with never ending scroll news feeds and instead I focus on a few YouTube channels and Reddit feeds. It’s about an hour a day of entertainment for me and I ruthlessly remove any subs/channels that get too bogged down or repetitive. Recently, that was r/simpleliving.

Truthfully, it is because there were too many posts asking for advice. I realized that “simple living” content was trending a bit on tiktok, thus driving people to Reddit for advice on how to slow down. Cue myriad posts along the themes of: how do I get off of social media apps? How do I live a minimalist lifestyle? How do I stop shopping so much? I want to slow down but I have debt, help! How do I move to the country and start a homestead?

To summarize: these folks think simple living is moving to the country and having an *~aesthetic~* beige farmhouse where they own very few things, choose analog vs. Digital (except for, you know, their instagram reels), and instead of a job, they garden and feed their chickens in perfect makeup and unsoiled linen dresses. It’s basically what is being sold on carefully curated social media accounts (“Use my coupon code for 20% off a linen dress for the farmyard!”) and while it looks great, it’s completely unrealistic and most of these videos are unrelated to actually living a simpler life.

Can these things be part of a simple life? Yes, of course. Is it the only path to a simple life? Absolutely not.

I was writing about simplicity on livejournal in the late 90s/early 00s and I completely get the dream that lines up with the *~aesthetic~*. From my urban 500sq ft box in the sky, I dreamed of buying a farm that had a heritage farmhouse, sprawling gardens and farm animals. Centred around my bucoloic dreams was quiet – so much quiet! When we visited The Pharm[1] a few times a year I would soak in every moment in nature surrounded by rolling fields and a chorus of birdsong. The beauty! The nature! The quiet! Oh my!

As it turns out though, I never did move to the country. I ended up staying in the city, living in mid-century, quasi-urban suburbs. I was much happier being able to use public transportation and to live somewhere where I could walk or bike to the things I needed. When The Eldest was born, we didn’t even have a car. I walked to the grocery store, the library, the YMCA and playgroups. My kids grew up surrounded by friends and neighbours who would meet every day at the park for a few hours. In retrospect, that was a much more simple life for me than driving a half an hour to go anywhere. We now live even further from downtown than our old house was and I have what I really wanted all along: quiet & access to nature. We can walk to the river, the MUP/Trans-Canada trail and everything I need is within a 5 minute drive[2]. Both of the kids take public transportation to school and most of their friends live nearby. As it turns out, while the *~aesthetic~* of country living was appealing, I really do enjoy the amenities that come with living in a city. Of course, there is also the elephant in the room: being self-sufficient in the country is basically impossible if you are disabled. Had we even gone that route we would have absolutely have had to come back to the city in under less-than-ideal circumstances. But still, our life is generally pretty simple: we keep our formal activities to a minimum and focus on seeing our friends often but not in situations where we have to spend a ton of money. We may do takeout and a games night on the pricier end but we are also big fans of themed potluck get-togethers and homemade pizza and a movie.


Edward Carpenter popularized the term Simple Living in this essay

For most people, the turn to simple living is not actually about the bucolic ideal or minimalism but instead the dissatisfaction with their own lives. Simple living can be all or a few of these things:

1 – Minimalism – including digital minimalism.
2 – Frugality & watching your conspicuous consumption.
3 – Meditation/being present.
4 – Prioritizing relationships over things.
5 – Living your values, faith or spirituality.
6 – Homesteading/self-sufficiency.
7 – Environmentalism/social justice.
8 – Working less/reaching Financial Independence.

…and so on.

At its core though, Simple Living is a philosophy. It’s a way to structure your life so that you aren’t getting swayed by shiny things that sap your time, money and energy that don’t really add value to the quality of your life. It’s about drilling down to figure out what truly makes you happy and then aligning your life to focus on those things and letting the rest go. If you say you really want to spend more time with your best friend, why do you never make the plans? If you want to take a sabbatical from work and travel for 6 months, why are you spending so much money on Uber Eats? The point here is not to shame or judge people – we all have different wants, needs, and resources. It’s perfectly ok to move to a cabin in the woods but still own a fleet of classic cars that you work on and that bring you joy. The modern world is designed to separate you from your resources to line the pockets of others and simplicity is a process of unpacking where you want to spend your finite resources of time (including attention), energy and money. You are making a conscious effort to step off of the treadmill and figure out what really does serve you and focus on realigning yourself so that you are prioritizing those things.

But like everything else, there is only so many short form videos you can watch or influencers you can follow before the realization hits you: you need to do the work. That’s where the problem lies. Consuming content often feels like praxis but don’t let that confuse you; consuming content is just another way for tech companies to seize your most precious resource: your finite hours on this earth. The irony of consuming short form videos on how to lead a simple life via digital minimalism is not lost on any of us, for sure. But ya gotta start somewhere and if some random tiktok video encourages you to get your eyeballs off of social media, well great. There is a kind of justice in the universe if these social media companies lead you down the Simple Living path though, and I am here for it.

[1]Before everything went to hell, a good friend of mine lived an hour outside of the city on 200 acres. She would host amazing parties on the Solstices where we would decamp to the country for the weekend. Some of my best memories – and best friends – are from this time.

[2]Walking isn’t my forte these days but I do have a trike I can also take, but I rarely do.

Aurora borealis

Aurora borealis

Two nights ago the Northern Lights were out in full force. The Eldest and I headed outside (The Youngest wanted to sleep because she gets up early for Art School) and we OOOHed and AWWed in the dark of the backyard. It also helps that we are near the Greenbelt and we back onto a park. Mr. Tucker took these photos because my phone is an iPhone 8 which may as well be a rotary phone in 2025 (if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it is my motto!).


You can see the big dipper quite clearly here

Goodbye spendy summer, hello frugal fall

Goodbye spendy summer, hello frugal fall


Morning of the last dragon boat festival of the year

We’re heading into Autumn and we kissed the summer goodbye at an End of Summer bonfire & BBQ party on the Mississippi River (no, not that one) this past weekend. It was a classic Canadian fall day where you leave the house bundled up in a sweater because of the chill and then by 2pm you’re boiling hot and the sun is beating down on you. Then as soon as dinnertime hits, it’s cold and dewy again. A friend from dragon boat hosted a lovely afternoon at her house and it was nice to be outside on what will probably be one of the last warm days of the season.


Em-eye-ess-ess-eye-ess-ess-eye-pee-pee-eye

Dragon boat ended the last week of August, another season under my belt. It’s just as well: the kids were back in school the following Monday so over the long weekend we tried to get as many lingering “big” chores done as we could. Like many folks, this included cleaning out the garage and selling or giving away a few things that we no longer use. Since many people use this weekend to clean out their garages, enough folks were driving around scouring the neighbourhood for free stuff that we didn’t have to haul a lot to the dump. WIN/WIN.

Summers tend to be lackadaisical here at The Mullet. We don’t tend to eat together, we all have different activities, different schedules and different sleep patterns. The week before school starts we tend to tighten it back up slowly by meal prepping, organizing school supplies (and buying only what is needed), doing more baking for lunches, and getting to bed before midnight. The summer is also for random visits to the ice cream parlour, hot dates on patios, overspending at events, hitting the local microbreweries & food trucks, and hosting parties. It tends to be a very spendy time of year but I don’t think about it much. But the end of summer also marks the tightening of the budget.


These Ground Cherries went into into an amazing spice cake

This year we’ve been hit by a bunch of random expenses (which honestly, aren’t random at all). I have to pay quarterly taxes this year because it makes more sense for Mr. Tucker to claim most of the tax credits. The pool heater died 3 months after the warranty was up. We redid the floors in the condo, the car needed some work, we had to buy a new dishwasher (and pay a plumber to install it, we tried but the pipe needed to be cut down), and of course our car insurance doubled because The Eldest is now driving. When I say random, what I really mean is that I always have money tucked away for emergencies or for planned spending but a lot came at us at once so the accounts are on the low side. It happens.

But I also know I will feel better if I watch my spending for a bit. The kids have their own budgets to manage and I just will be a bit tighter with my discretionary spending for awhile. I have a trip planned with some girlfriends in November *and* I am throwing myself a 50th birthday bash a week later, so a lot of my discretionary spending over the next two months will go towards those two things. I find our spending ebbs and flows during the course of the year and I get more or less spendy depending on the weather.


A friend’s 50th birthday! There are a few of us this year

Now that fall has ushered itself in, so has my desire to stay close to home. It’s just as well, our garden is overflowing with peppers, tomatoes and herbs and it’s about to get busy with the processing for winter. Tonight I fire roasted some tomatoes, made a salsa and then I crushed & froze 2 litres of tomatoes for future meals. More tomatoes are ripening and I’d like to get some sun dried tomatoes done before the frost comes. We usually get bulk apples (does anything represent September more than the humble apple?) from a friend but it looks like her family is retiring from the apple biz, so I will have to hit the farm stand up the road to get some fresh apples. I like to chop a bunch up & dehydrate some for winter…and of course we eat a pile of them because they’re so good this time of year.


I am probably one of the few people who know their family eats 10lbs of fresh garlic in a year

Other than that, it’s helping the kids get organized for school & activities. The Youngest is doing her snowboard instructor training this year as well as volunteering at the library. She recently discovered that she can read books and write reviews on them in exchange for volunteer hours and so she’s over the moon! She came home from the last volunteer meeting with a giant pile so it looks like she will tackle that. The Eldest and I are still hammering out what courses she needs for university. It’s been a stressful and chaotic beginning to the school year because it feels so *dire* to be choosing what classes to take for her last year of high school in order to get into the programs/schools she wants. I’ve told the kids that nothing is set in stone and that life has many do-overs but it’s still stressful for a 17-year-old to try and figure out a path for a career she wants to spend 3-5 years in school for! She can always switch majors but I get it – it’s a lot.


The last BAC show of the season. Next year is MEH so we will be skipping

Labour day also marked one of the happiest changes of the season: it’s video game time again! I quit playing games from May to September because I like to be outside more. It’s just a good way to prevent myself from staying inside and being a mushroom with thumbs. I know that I am late to the party but I am still working on The Witcher 3. Will I finish before The Witcher 4 comes out? Stay tuned! I’d also like to play Cyberpunk this winter, it’s just sitting there on my Steam account taunting me. I don’t tend to watch a lot of tv & movies generally but in the summer it drops to zero. Still, I have a few shows to watch – like the last season of Taskmaster – which will keep me company now that sitting outside is less of an option.

I guess that’s what makes it a frugal fall: video games, tv and food preservation. But mainly, it’s staying close to home & having fewer social events as the cold weather hits. By next month Canadians realize that life doesn’t stop for weather and the transition back into social events will begin in time for spooky season.

Finland: the happiest country

Finland: the happiest country

“…Finnish happiness has nothing to do with how jolly they may or may not be as a people. “It has less to do with how ‘ha ha, smiling, happy’ people are, and more to do with: There’s less reason to be unhappy in Finland than any place else. You can think about all the things that can make people unhappy, and Finland has less of them,” he said. He talked about how his children are safe from gun violence, the sacredness of personal time, the knowledge that if he and [his wife] became sick, or couldn’t pay the mortgage, or lost their house, there would be a social safety net there to catch them. “Everyone takes care of everyone else, to some extent,” he said.

Given all this, I expected David to tell me frankly that, no, it’s not possible to “learn to be happy” like a Finnish person, because it’s about what society offers you. That’s not what he said. “It’s also about an acceptance of what you’ve got, and being grateful for it,” he told me. You absolutely could learn.”

The Happiest Place on Earth

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

It’s a cruel, cruel summer

Well, I made it to Canada Day and we had a lovely BBQ and pool party with friends. It was the grand finale of a super busy period of our lives. Afterwards, we settled into a more chill summer vibe with The Eldest biking to her summer job everyday and hanging out with friends when she wasn’t working and The Youngest doing camp and hanging with friends when she wasn’t at camp. Mr. Tucker started biking to Muay Thai & I paddled twice a week leading up to the dragonboat festival in June (we won second place for the 200m in our category, thank you very much!). But life is not all roses and there was a horrible loss of one of The Youngest friend’s on the second-last day of school & it has cast a shadow over the summer as she works through the emotions that come with losing a friend.

I got overly-excited about an add-on for my CSA that added locally grown berries to our weekly order that I chose the largest sizes possible. I have made SO MUCH jam and have frozen SO MANY berries! Future me will appreciate it in the dead of winter when I can whip up some berry muffins with this summer’s berries. But today me sure cursed myself as I chopped fruit up and sterilized multiple jars.





July saw Mr. Tucker take two weeks off of paid work…to do work at home. We continue to clean out the dusty corners, repaint, organize and decorate the house in a more permanent way. While I felt increasingly unwell and exhausted, he got to work cleaning out closets, selling and donating things that we haven’t used or things the kids have outgrown. We also hosted a craft night for a friend’s birthday.



Sadly, the thing that was sapping me of my energy also landed me in the Emergency Room by the end of the month. Four hours later I was in surgery and I go back in on September 2nd for another surgical procedure (I am – for all intents and purposes – doing ok). I spent 4 days in the hospital covered in ice packs with a high fever that 1000mg of Tylenol (why don’t they just say 1 gram?) would barely touch. It was truly awful. The way I was raised guarantees that I will only go to the hospital when I am on death’s door. I gaslit myself so hard that it was all in my head that the doctors and nurses were horrified that I lived with so much pain for so long. I definitely was an absolute moron for not going sooner. Story of my life.

In August it was record wildfires and heatwaves. Friends stopped in to swim and escape the environmental catastrophe for a few hours. Judy[1] came up from California to visit & to do some recon (more on that at some point) and being able to see her and to have a fun swim party with the Cohens was an amazing way to catch up. Sadly, our tenant left on August 1st (but is paid until October). He was so great and I wish he had stayed longer. However, we will get the floors done in the condo and put it up for sale again hopefully by the end of the month. Cross all of your crossables that it sells quickly.

The Eldest passed her G2 driver test so now she can a> drive on her own, b> needs her own insurance. That little slice of heaven will cost more than what Mr. Tucker & I pay to insure both of us, together. We came to an agreement that she would pay part of her insurance (and any gas she uses) to get her used to the fact that car ownership is eye-wateringly expensive (this amount is proportional to her income as the point is to get her to appreciate and understand the responsibility, not to make her shoulder the exorbitant cost). She is only insured as a casual driver so I explained that she will rarely get the car but the idea is for her to build an insurance history so her rates go down. But, one at-fault accident and we pull the plug because her rates will double and that puts it out of the realm of affordability for us (and her – it would eat up 2/3rds of what she makes in a summer). She will continue to use the red and white limousine or her bicycle for most of her transportation needs.

The rest of the summer is all birthday parties and more dragon boat festivals.


We also headed to our local bike store to get tune-ups & to buy new helmets


…this is the bike store dog!


…and we had lunch dates

September is on our doorstep and the weather just turned from scorching to autumn this morning as the heatwave broke overnight. I woke up to some much-needed rain and when I got up I threw open all of the windows and the patio doors. The next couple of weeks will see the back-to-school chores begin: dental appointments, haircuts, and buying school supplies. The Eldest has a one week break between work and the start of the school year and we are going to spend it looking at post-secondary options so that she can redo her timetable if she needs to, depending on what programs she is looking at. She won’t be teaching skiing this winter, and instead will concentrate on school and getting her volunteer hours to graduate. I cannot believe she is already in grade 12. The days are long and the years are short, indeed.

[1]These are my Americans, get your own.

The Moving Past

The Moving Past

This CBC article brought The Moving Past website to my attention today. Created by historian David Sobel, I didn’t know that Canada was the first country to have government sponsored films, nor did I realize that we lost so many of them during WWII when they were melted down for their silver nitrate. Here is a short video about the project:



I’ve watched a few today and I have to say that Sobel’s choice to speed up the videos and add music for modern audiences was a clever one. They are incredibly watchable morality plays addressing the issues Canada faced 100 years ago. I especially love the absolute panic of women being alone in the big city and …GASP…going dancing in 3-inch heels! Don’t worry though, those wanton women get punished by…tuberculosis? Which you get not from bacteria but from an unhealthy lifestyle. Choose carefully, ladies.

Overall, this site is a charming way to spend a couple of hours if you find yourself needing a break from the horrors.